Pain lasts only a few minutes,Bear it

2006-11-10T23:59:00.000+08:00

Guess wat. She dun love me anymore. She told me everything on the phone. I wasted 300bucks on that useless phone call. Damn. Fine. If she is like that i got no choice. So well I dun love her anymore either. I can't explain it but the truth is my feelings for her went from 100 to 0 from that same phone call. Looks like i'm gonna be single again. We'll be meeting one last time to talk about it. So thats it. I know she does'nt care abt me anymore. So its useless for me to continue this. I'm done. And I noe u would say and do the same thing anyway . But I don't hate u and nver will i hate a girl i so loved dearly. So there.

2006-11-10T18:23:00.000+08:00

Finally!!! A Week of pain and sorrow. A Week of Brain numbing and mindfucking and fainting. HAS ENDED! Just finished my Maths Paper 2 today. Oh am I so ecstatic now. The next 2 papers would be breeze for me. History and Chem/Physics paper. Now i can sleep with my mind clear of those mental calculative equatons and then some. I barely had sleep this week because of overnight studying everyday. An average of 2hrs of slp per day for me this week.
Signs of over exhaustion could be seen when I went to do my Maths paper 2 today. My friends said i looked so pale, and i almost fainted in the school library. So its a relief this whole week packed with exams is over.

I CAN NOW SLEEP. Its 6 30pm over here. I consider it late now. So i'm going to bed to recuperate or i may just die of exhaustion. I need to regain my hours of sleep that i lost this whole week to prepare my next 2 papers next friday.

Beloved, wherever u are, ur always here in my heart. I love you and I will be waiting for you everyday. Loves

2006-10-29T02:56:00.000+08:00

My 1st O lvl paper is On Monday. MT paper. SHIT! I'm gonna screw this up. But i'll try my best. Been studying all day. Took a break after long hours of doing pen and book. Played sims for a while. Then went back to studying. I'm so freaking exhausted now. I'm Updating for the sake of updating now. Just sms-ed roSA that i'm going to bed. Love you and miss ya beloved. See you once in a while. OK i'll finish up this last equation then i'm outta here.

2006-10-24T02:24:00.000+08:00

I just reached home. And Its always my fault. It seems to be like that. I never wanted to do this. I was forced to do it. I did'nt want to go with my family but i was pushed out the door by them. I wanted to see you, but they would'nt listen. I hoped u would understand. I never wanted to mess it up. And i always don't have the chance to explain. And when i get to, it may be too late. Theres not much i can do. I really wanted to see u. I never asked for any of this. But God wants it to be this way so I let it be, but please understand me. Understand me and be in my position. I was forced to go with them and if i disobeyed my parents it would hurt u because u should noe what happens to me if I disobey. My parents have lost faith in me and u should noe that I'm trying hard to win them back. I really wanted to see u, I missed u so much, I never did anything wrong, i never made any mistakes, I freaking love u. I was forced to go with them. I never messed anything up, u always told me listen to my parents and not get into trouble and study hard, thats what I have been doing all along while waiting for you to come back to me and its all for u, I thought u would be happy. I so wanted to see u too you noe! I did not want to disappoint my parents so I listened to them. But in the end I was able to escape from my family and I called u and said I wanted to go to ur house even though it was 1am in the morning I was already walking from bukit panjang plaza to ur house and was on the phone with u telling u that I'm coming, but u said u were gonna slp. I really wanted to see u, but on the phone u told me u did'nt want to see me, even though I reached the front gate of Hazel park. I respected ur decision, but before I went home, I went up to the 11th floor and stood outside straing at ur front door. I wanted to ring the bell or call u but u said u did'nt want me to call u or disturb u, so I just stood there and was hoping some1 would open the door, I sat around there for about 30mins, I cried and I reluctantly took the lift back down and went home. It took quite a while for me to get home, I had no cash on me to take a cab, The bus services ended almost an hour ago at that time, so I walked until I reached the Caltex gas station at Old Woodlands Road when my Mom called and asked me where I was, I told her and she said she would pay for the taxi fares again, i felt guilty to disappoint her again I want my parent's trust back. But nvm its ok because I would do anything to see u and hold u and hug u again. I fucking miss u, why won't u let me explain everything. Don't you trust me? Baby I love u. I'm sorry. Its my fault I'm sorry. God probably forsakes me, so I'm sorry. I'm sincerely sorry . I sincerely love you. Please let me see u. I wanna see u. I miss u. I MISS U. damn it, I miss u....I love you.

Im crying now. I shall sleep then. I miss u. When will i get to see that lovely face and adorable eyes of yours, Rosa.. When? I miss you. I will wait for you.

2006-10-22T23:16:00.000+08:00

Can't wait to hold her in my arms again. Anxiously waiting for that day. Rosa hope you're enjoying your time. I hope to see u soon. Love you. Theres nothing much to post now. Wats in my mind is just My beloved.

Love you

2006-10-21T02:21:00.001+08:00

She just called me an hour ago. I left for home from her house 2hours ago. She is leaving for Malaysia in about 6hrs or so. And I so don't want her to leave. Before i left we hugged for almost 20mins. She cried. I tried to hold back my tears. I hugged her for a little longer. I love you Rosa my beloved. I'll miss U. I'll wait for u to come back into my arms. Then i left...

I was home. She called. We talked for 30mins. I cried. She cried. I so want to go with her. I love her. I hate to leave her. Now I'm gonna rest. She said she would call me 2moro before she leaves for Malaysia. I can't wait. She will call me. I cant wait. She will...I cant wait to hear her voice...

I could have posted this sooner. But Blogger keeps on jamming, but nevertheless...

Love You and Miss You Rosa .

2006-10-18T00:09:00.000+08:00

Woots i'm home after 2 days of not being home. Was wif my brokened boned Friend and after that I was with yours truly. I stayed with beloved and made sure tat she would never feel so insecure again. I love you! I ate breakfast with her 2dae and waved her off to skool for her PL interview, I hope she gets into PL. She is very responsible, and so what if she has no CCA attendance, BULLSHIT! Look at her commitment record for her class. Shes the Freaking Class Chairman. Fuck you people who want Goody-Goody-Nerdy-Freak-Jerk-Geeks and they're really scary. PL is abt having fun and there is no room for GGNFJGs cuz that would ruin the reputation of the PL and then some...So Rosa, all the best! Hope u get selected. If you don't, then the skool is just fucked up. And Bitches like you-know-who fall into the category of GGNFJGs if ya noe what i mean *winks*

Since that Bowl of MEE came to this skool, everything was focused on academics, but everyone still faltered academically even though academics was so focused on, unlike the previous noodles who focused more on athletics and amazingly the end of year academic results at that time were one of the best in the country. Which prooves that without fun, u can't study. In your face ya Mee Bitch!

At least theres some group in this God Forsaken skool which still has that little shining glimmer of fun left and thats the PL, and if they recruit GGNFJGs, the results WILL be catastrophic--->The element of Fun will burn out and everyone might as well shift skool and stop wasting their time being useless-ly brain fed 24/7, which has fatal side effects like----> STRESS, No TIME FOR BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND CUZ I GOTTA FUCKING STUDY, PROJECTS to present the next DAY, Cant go out with frens anymore cuz I have to read and memorise this 5 chapters for a class TEST next week, maybe after I fucking graduating then i can have fun with U guys.------> Wheres' the social bond us Teens get in this "Next Generation" world? Where's the "hey lets chill out this weekend " phrase i used to hear all the time. In the end in the not so distant future of this ending world we all may end up turning into GGNFJGs, and this place would be so gloomy and dull, everyone would be Zombies, stuck to their books, calculaters, curve rulers, rulers, graph paper, compass, dictionary and THEN fucking some. Its as if we apply this shit when in working world.

BUT HEY! I went to the USA and i saw what they're studying and they're the same age as ME, but do u know what i saw and found out? HOLY FUCK!----> These USA students told me that they havent learnt anything what I'm currently learning and studying right now and they told that me this stuff i'm studying right now is studied by UNIVERSITY Students! so like WTH! I rather go there and become a freaking PHD. Imagine what those NUS students are learning right now, their gonna be totally crazy, with too much knowledge, their ever-so expanding brains are gonna make them pop and eventually turning them into nutcases, they are what u call---->A Smartass know it all, but actually he/she is just a nerd in disguise who doesnt know shit. Aint street smart and aint cool.

A perfect example of this theory of mine would be -----> Mr You. its not his real name, I might get sued. but u all noe who he is. Hes' a young-just-came-out from army teacher,he is Clever, he noes everything and hes' a Mathematics enthusiast, but he talks to himself most of the time. Does'nt blink when he teaches which we find pretty odd. Praises himself most of the time about his great achievements which has nothing to do with Maths (self righteous bastard), and lastly we can't understand a damn thing he teaches. And his hair at the back stands up most of the time and this look is always identical as the previous day, which gives us the creeps cuz we don't noe how long he has'nt taken a shower. He was probably calculating some maths problem all night. ----->He is A Prototype Product of the system. I wont be surprised if I meet someone like him in the future. Damn even Albert Einstein the Genius, the world's cleverest man, has a smaller brain than us. AND he only used 9% of his freaking small brain to come up with one of the world's greatest formulae---> E=MC2

So why Expand our brains with too much knowledge which is completely unrelated to the world of Work. Work is all about quick thinking, great ideas and innovation, Not ----->solving stupid Maths problems,memorising History notes which is duelling in the past, Writing a Summary, Or answering Who-What-Where-When-Why questions for comprehension passages damn i get those questions everyday from my parents.

So Beloved, I hope u get into PL! Beat those GGNFJGs.

Sorry for writing too damn long, i'm just sick of the system. Its just my thoughts. But im much more sick of this Skool. Love You! I'm going to bed now. Nights All!

BARK

2006-10-13T00:29:00.000+08:00

Its very late at night now. 12am to be exact. I look at my Beloved sleeping peacefully in bed. Shes tired. She deserves a fruitful rest. My rest will come in a months time. As I Sit and Lay, and watch her, I see her face, shes so beautiful. As she hugs her booster, she smiles, Shes having nice dreams perhaps. I stroke her back a few times, feel her smooth cheeks. Such beauty. Such peace. A picture of purity. But Its getting late. I don't want mama or papi to get worried. But before i leave my Beloved for home, I must tell her I Love her. Give me a little more time. I wanna stay with my Sleeping Beauty and be by her side for a little longer... Just a little longer. A little longer. A little longer.

My Beloved : Rosa Trinh Thu Raz

Loves

2006-10-09T19:21:00.000+08:00

2dae was fun! As usual, in the early hours of morning, went to skool wif Rosa, national anthem, pledge and then some. Then during lessons, Danko, Prem and Myself were like, telling jokes on how my teachers died, how they looked like when they were in their coffins, and what stuff would be written on their tombstones and all. No Offence to ya teachers. Was just havin plain fun!! It was hilarious. After which, Not one teacher arrived for lessons, I got sleepy and slept on four tables.

After recess was different though, Maths, Chemistry and then some, really love Maths. Mrs Teo, my chemistry cher, then wanted time to chat with me, so after the bell rang, i accompanied her all the way down and she told me how touched she was about the letter i wrote to her for teachers day and that she even cried when she read it. This made me realise she really is putting high hopes for me to pass my Os. After that she went off and I said thank you.

D'n'T was the next, but i dropped the damn sub, and i looked at the next lesson, Social Studies, Mdm Adawiyah aint coming again, so there was no point staying in skool anymore, since i aint gonna learn anything with no teachers around the near empty classrooom. 12 30pm. I strolled outta skool. Heard some of the kids from the lower levels say "he is crazy!", Met up with Joel and his frens outside, and they were like laughing at me and told me that I was really crazy. I slacked at Suhairi's house for a while and played a 4-string classical guitar. It's Suhairi's guitar anyway----> DUDE go and buy new strings!!! but playing your guitar was fun nonetheless.

Met up with Rosa after that. Walked around Plaza. And skip, all the way home. We decided to go for a swim, and as usual dog had fun with her. Suntanned for abit and went back up. We conversed while in bed------> (those who have inferior english, this phrase means " We talked while lying in bed")----> and I somehow got sleepy and just slept. When i woke up she was like preparing for her tuition and all, her teacher came already,told her all the best and she went off, So here I am waiting for her and transpiring my thoughts from my head down here.

WOOF!!

2006-10-06T15:24:00.000+08:00

Yeah! New skin! This is very DOG! Thx rosa for finding it. I re-designed it though cuz the one who made this skin layout sucked! so many stupid bugs! And the codes were everywhere! ARGH! Anyway its half-fixed. I'm almost done! but hey new skin!

WOOF!

2006-10-04T08:48:00.000+08:00

WOots! Look at the time! its 9am! Im supposed to be in skool. But, I am in skool! Skipping lessons is so fun! Im at the library now. A place where im not supposed to be. I just had to post an entry cuz I felt the need to. Oh well i posted. Woot! Thats it mission accomplished.

WOOF!

2006-10-03T23:01:00.000+08:00

Hmm. Rosa. My Sassy Gal. Muhaha! the whole of last week was Blam. So Lets move on then. I did'nt update cuz i was really deep in thought. Wat should i do. Wat is wrong wif me. And then some.

2dae was somewhat crazy. I somehow got Rosa to come to my house and we watched a movie 2gether. Yeah it was heart-warming to be bside her. On the way to my house She teamed up with Joel and Punked me! I got Punked, ARgH! .

Anyway, celebrated Mom's Bday. Rosa was in the family photo too! Happy Bday Mama. Yeah was fun! The cake had a lil rum in it. It was so rich. The chocolate just dripped down my throat and then some.

Can't wait to go skool 2moro. Back to skool. New bag, New file holder, Nice Wallet and New shoes! WOOTS!

I must remind myself to change for the better

Im owt then

WOOF!

2006-09-25T23:14:00.000+08:00

FUCK!!!! today was FUCK!!!!

Now i look at the mirror. I see a Failure. Useless being. I fail everyone including myself. I hurt someone i love the most. I cant even face her or give her a call. Its too much, Im such a failure, a prick and an asshole. I was at home alone all the way, I cried the whole day, with no one, except me and the mirror. There was no one there to talk to about my problems and walls were shoulders to lean on and shed my tears. My bed was my platform and my blanket embraced me. I punched the wall out of anger, angry with my useless sick unhealthy self, punched till they were swollen and blue. I took a needle and burst a swollen bubble and blood gushed out. too numb to feel pain, I told myself I deserved much more punishment, "what were u thinking stupid asshole!" i shouted at myself.

"My mistakes" that was in my mind the whole day. My sad lonely heart took over, i've lost the sense of laughter, i cant laugh or smile anymore, Even jokes or crappy stuff cant interest me as i just sit and stare at those psychedelic walls. I watched some shows on the computer the whole day for 9 hours straight, to keep my mind stable. But now its just unbearable. I cant take it. This heartache is just uncontrollable. I havent had a drink or eaten anything yet. I have lost sense of myself. My empty stomach groans in agony, i get into temporal dizzyness now and then but i dont care. Useless people dont deserve to live.

Im useless. I'm sorry for being useless. now all i have is tuna sandwhiches and chocolate sandwhiches which should have been given to her. I'm a fuckbag.... Im fucking off from this place......... too depressing.... too much... I'm just human after all. Abnormal perhaps. I've lost my emotions.

Now i dread looking at the mirror. Let the walls and my room conceal me from my shame.

Im not sleeping tonight.

2006-09-20T14:19:00.000+08:00

YES! finally! the last paper for my Prelims is over. I'm free for the moment. B4 the real deal comes on November. Just Burning time. Wondering and just waiting for my results. I think i screwed up 2 subs and the rest should be fine. I hope.

I hope i can continue the way i live my life now. Its just nice for me. I'm trying to adjust and get back with my family and when that is done, life would be perfect. I hope all goes well.

Music is the best medicine for me right now, since i really have nothing better to do, soothing love songs like More Than Words do very well in relaxing the mind and body. Whenever i listen to that song my body just switches off and just slacks off. Its a nice song to down a nice shot of Vodka. The warm sensation caressing my throat while the music plays on and soothes my ears. yeaaaahh..laidback totally.

Just been surfing the net and i would really like to be in Russia right now, theres a Festival of some sort, and its drinks galore!

I'm just gonna cliff hang over here then

WOOF!

2006-09-18T19:35:00.000+08:00

Boredom. A feeling when i start to lose interest in everything. Its like a disease which really infects everyone. I hate it. To start things off, I am feeling bored. It sucks. I cant even get myself to write something in this blog. I'm just writing out of sheer boredom.

Study my mind says, but one needs to have fun and pleasure b4 doing something important, one needs a fresh mind to study. But what can i do? I slept a few hours and after that everything is just the same --> plain old boring.

But at least i'll wait till she comes back, just too damn bored. I'm freezing with boredom and theres nothing much i can do about it. I look through the window i could see trees and i wonder how things aren't always the way i want them to be.

Just waiting and stoning till i get what i want then. time passes....and THEN some

WOOF....

2006-09-17T14:58:00.000+08:00

MARCH CUTIE

Suave and compromising.

Perhaps, yeah i do.

Funny and humorous.

I'm crazy if u put it in one word

Stubborn.

YES!

Very talkative.

Always has something to talk about

Calm and cool.

most of the time.

Kind and Sympathetic.

I have time to be those so yeah

Concerned and detailed.

VERY

Loyal.

Only to myself and my loved ones

Does work well with others.

Sometimes, prefers to be a loner

Very confident.

Only when i know its possible and i can do it

Sensitive.

for a guy, extremely sensitive

Positive Attitude.

Not really, i'm very laidback so u can call it neutral thinking if there ever was a term

Thinking generous.

Ask my buddies why they like to go shopping with me

Good memory.

When it comes to important things like girlfriend and exams.

Clever and knowledgeable.

I know stuff so yeah and then some

Loves to look for information.

haiz, could you just say i'm curious, cuz i really am.

Able to cheer everyone up and/ormake them laugh.

Ask the crowd

Able to motivate oneself and others.

I'm always good at motivational speeches but i don't noe if they work

Understanding.

Yes/No

Fun to be around.

Yeah

Outgoing.

Alright !!

Hyper.

peterpiperpickedanotherpickledberrypussypepperwhy? can you say it very fast and run around the house naked? well i can!

Bubbly personality.

I'm forever blowing bubbles

Secretive.

Bullshit everyone has secrets

Boy/girl crazy.

Girl crazy.

Loves sports, music, leisure and travelling.

yes, guitars, rum and Vodka

Systematic.

NO

hot and has brains.

I got brains. My temperature is always between 36.5-37 degrees so by climate standards thats hot.

If you repost this in 5 mins, a cutie that's caught your eyewill introduce themselves and you will realize thatyou are very much alike in the next 2 days

Yeah like im interested

2006-09-16T11:14:00.000+08:00

I just woke up. Dazed and Confused. Well i should be, cuz of that sick weird dream i just had. Damn it was crazy. I was in a dream of someones dream inside a disgusting mutated green sticky gooey dick. It was just so weird, i was dreaming as someone else and here i was killing green flesh-eating alien humanoids. I freaked out, the aliens looked so damn real. I quickly woke up, i stood up and walked to the toilet, i just looked at the mirror, was thinking of my , but then a giant spider leg tore through the mirror and grabbed me, another weird dream and i woke up, slapped myself ran around the house and washed my face in the toilet, looked at the mirror and checked it, great i'm awake.

After which i went to write something here. I miss R. tats why i'm gonna meet her now!

WOOF!

2006-09-15T16:24:00.000+08:00

Fun. Fun. I seem to have fun everyday nowadays. 2dae was great! Rosa, myself and bro were all sent home from school. So we ended up going to the gym and went for a swim. We had the time of our life. It was fun. Jumping here and there, jogging in water, playing around at the kids swimming pool playground. Then, haiz, The rain spoiled our fun. So we went up and rested.

After that we just let time fly. Great! I taught Rosa how to play time of your life and after 1 month of practising the song, she has mastered it, which is great!

Anyway, tats all for now.

WOOF!

2006-09-14T21:58:00.000+08:00

I've been tagged to do this survey. So okay since i've got nothing better to do, then lets just get one with it.

1) Single, taken, or crushing?

I'm owned.

2) Are you happy with your life now?

Relationship life YES, family life, not really. Skool life, just fine i guess.

3) When you meet the right person, do you fall in love with her fast?

I've gotta getta know her 1st, its a slow process so, etc..

4) Have you ever had your heartbroken?

fuck this question. dont ask the obvious. I've been heartbroken more than the whole world's broken hearts put together.

5) Do you believe there are some circumstances where cheating love is acceptable?

Cheating, is wrong, so its wrong it should nvr take place no matter the circumstances. Just like what Ms Tan said "cheating is a very serious offence, offenders wil be dealt with seriously"

6) Would you take someone back if she cheats on you?

It depends how serious, but even if i take her back she would nvr be as pure as before cuz b4 she cheated on me she was all mine but now a big chunk of her has been given to some asshole.

So maybe i wont take her back.. no way. Baby u noe i wont cheat on you.

7) Have you talked about marriage with another before?

Yeah.

8) Do you want children?

Who does'nt? of course!

9) How many?

2 girls and 2 boys :D!!

10) Would you consider adoption?

Yeah, but i would like to be adopted right now. XD

11) If someone likes you right now, what do you think is the best way to let you know her feelings?

Make it obvious for me and please tell me straightforward. Shy gals can go home and sulk. but so sorry i've got the gal i wanted, my strawberry ripple ice cream.

12) Do you enjoy getting into relationship?

Yeah, but sometimes there are big problems and I have to work hard to fix it all up and it helps me to be a better and different person altogether.

13) Be honest, what is the furthest you and your ex did?

My EX? ask the bitch in Australia.

14) Do you believe in love at first sight?

Hmm, in movies yes, but in reality its quite impossible unless its just fateful attraction which brings 2 people together miraculously.

15) Are you romantic?

Yeah, whenever a special occasions come. I'm romantic when its due. Whenever i feel so happy.

16) Do you believe you can change someone?

Yeah. i did. I was able to Mindfuck my friend who was so suicidal and wanted to kill himself but because of all the horrible and terrible things i said to him if he really did kill himself, he changed and ended up living a normal life and his problems were gone. Dude its good ur still alive.

17) If you could get married somewhere, where would it be?

Anywhere unique, some remote paradise island. With clear water beaches and soft floury sand. Beautiful sunsets.

18) Do you easily give in when you are fighting?

It depends who is on the wrong. But its always the guy who is on the wrong cuz guys are guys. So i give in. But if i noe i'm not wrong i make myself heard. A msg to those guys out there, don't let your gal take advantage of you. Yes you love her then you also have to fight her sometimes and after those fights you WILL love her even more! no kidding. you may just end up making out with her in the end.

19) Do you have feelings for someone right now?

DUH! then what is question one for anyway STUPID!

20) Have you ever wished that you could have had someone but you messed it up?

Yep.

21) Have you ever broke a heart?

No. not once. Never did. I'm always the broken hearted.

(22) If one day your best friend falls in love with the girl you are deeply in love with, what would you do?

To tell ya the truth. My best friend would nvr ever fall in love with the same person i'm in love with. Guys are not like that. Its a guy thing. The code of dudes.

23) Are you missing someone now?

Nope, shes looking at me right now, those cute adorable eyes of hers.

Now you have to ask 5 of your friends to do this survey in their blogs.Write down their names in the list below.Tag them in their blog to let them know.

So anyone interested? just copy and paste it. ctrl + C and ctrl + V. Cuz u cant right click on this blog.

WOOF!

2006-09-13T17:04:00.000+08:00

Exams. The exams 2dae were so full of Formulae and Equations, even after each paper and when i doze off, i still could see myself looking at equations and mathematical shit. SCARY.

Anyways, I really had fun 2dae. After the exams, hanged out with my budds, yeah doing the usual, they smoke their nicotine but i sit and talk.

After chilling out with them, i went for a swim at the swimming pool with Rosa at her Condominium. It was sweet. Rubbing suntan oil and bask in the Sun 2gether. We had intervals, at one time we would be doing laps at the pool but at another time suntanning again. After that, we got our stuff as it started to get really cold. But then we did'nt go home just yet. There was this toddlers swimming pool playground over there and we ended up playing over there. The water swings and slides! WOO! After that the rain spoiled everything. but all in all it was fun.

Rosa just came back from her haircut! OMG! She's so freakin cute! Short hair! Retro Chick!

Its nice and she looks adorable! Hmm. I guess thats all i think. Need more time to think of what to write about.

WOOF!

2006-09-13T02:55:00.000+08:00

Its 3am. Umm did i say i was done with my blog? Well actually its far from finished. It still had many bugs here and there, Minor glitches and crappy fonts and then some, but i finally cleared'em up. I'm almost finished!!. A few more touches here and there. I have freaking exams 2moro. Important ones and here I am still up late at night doing something irrelevant to studies.

I did study before i continued fixing stuff here and there. I had a 1 hour revision on everything coming out for 2moro. I'm mostly prepared. I hope i don't get sleepy when i see a difficult question, moreover, i havent slept yet which means i have a higher chance of sleeping. SHIT.
I'm off to bed then. Im out for now

Woof!

2006-09-12T15:06:00.000+08:00

Alright. My new blog is up and running. Damn i found this picture of a Guitar in the net and just came up with a new blog idea and poof its all done. Was up all night figuring out bugfixes here and there. Most of the bugs are fixed cuz i some how designed this blog from scratch and its really confusing sometimes to figure those codes out. So im now tired. But i'm off to Rosa's house... Laters...

WOOF!~

2006-07-04T11:30:00.000+08:00

Wooo, expected things turned out the way it should be, going through another tough week ahead. Well every week is tough.

Tension. I feel tension and burning anger, high temperatures rising here at home, some1 is disrupting the cold air flowing, i feel heat, and i know something crazy and unexpected may happen in this house of mine.

Anyway, i happen to get used to the atmosphere happening here, it seems quiet and peaceful. Its been good so far.

Playing guitar has'nt been this fun in a while, just had a jam session with zikrie and sharin the other day, and i realised that i havent lost touch of those complicating scales and techniques which i thought i forgot, but then, my fingers just moved automatically as if it were posessed by some demon and they flowed on their own while also owning the song. I got another session with them, i cant wait! cuz i noe i was abit hesitant while jamming with them and i hope for improvement and confidence. oh holy shit! I havent played metal in a while, a new challenge perhaps. Woot!

i just wanna forget the whole of last week cuz it was a week that sould'nt even happen. it was a painful week full of mistakes and i'm ashamed of it.

If there was anything important or nice to recall it should be yesterday. I went to the night safari with Rosa, her cousin and her mom. Woot! fun! Especially seeing Rosa getting spooked by the dark forests and the squeaking sounds of insects and then some, at the walking trails. She is so freaking cute!!!!!!!!! Specifically when we were crossing this suspension bridge and it started shaking vigorously, and then---> well u all should have guessed what happened, but Rosa was at her cutest yesterday! I havent been to the night safari in ages, this is my first time in 2 years, and it has made brilliant and clever changes. Oh yeah, we even saw some horny spotted hyenas and we cheered the hyennas on to mate and make some nice wild animal love. free show anyone?!!

Anything happened today....................................blank............................................................
skip......................

Loves Rosa and loves everyone!

2006-06-23T14:34:00.000+08:00

I'm finally back home! was back at about 5am this morning. I took a shower and dropped on my bed and slept. I just got up, its 2pm. The air was filled with delicious scents of fish and chips although i preferred the smell of mee goreng for lunch, my bros were preparing lunch---> fish and chips. I lay there flat on my bed, thinking about last night. WOOT! no words to describe it. It was sweet,lovely,cheerful and expressive, horny? emotional? haha up to you.

Well i think im going out again today, cuz being at home is so boring, i hate the cold air and i hate to see the messy house, when i always clean up,no one else does anything, but stay stuck on their computers. My home is like being locked up with some really damn strict old skool rules, it just feels great just to be away from home. To me its not home but just my room and my stuff and my bro Jon.

Im so sleepy maybe im gonna have a nap. im waiting for Rosa's call. I kissed her goodnight before she slept so soundly on her bed and also before i left for home early this morning at 3am.
Rosa was so cute when she was asleep, when she was finally asleep i kissed her at the cheek and said i love you and good night. She looked like a baby tucked in for bed, very cute and adorable. Im going out with you again today after work!

Im going out today, Love you Rosa!

2006-06-21T01:23:00.000+08:00

I've got so much stuff to right about in the 2 days or so.It was hypnotic crazy fun!! Something i truly missed for 2 damn weeks! And now that i have that fun back im gonna cherish it! Rosa came back 18 June, Sunday, yeah and She turned---> hotter! Her hair? ---> Neater,straight,lovely and sweet! I was able to get outta work to pick her up from the airport and damn was i really happy! i even gave her mom a real nice hug too! I missed her mom alot too! im so grateful to her! and of course i miss her mom's cooking too! Rosa said she put on weight but i didnt believe her cuz her curves are much more defined and refined!! After which , I helped them out with the luggage and we rode a taxi to her home and helped her unpack. She gave me a nice sweet gift and a shirt. I gave her a nice gift too and it was something she wanted badly for a long time.

Her house was the same as they left it, the only difference was that it was rather dusty and musty, and probably the kitchen was out of bounds for me and "i dont know why" ;)
After everything was in order, We just flew out and we had fun at town as usual, we watched the movie Cars, it was hilarious,very witty and clever. But something about the day wasnt right, cuz on that particular SUNDAY nite, was quiet and empty, just a few crumbs of people strolling along here and there and it was only 9pm, the atmosphere was boring as it wasnt crowded, this is the 1st time Orchard Road was completely silent and as a result the whole place which was supposed to be bustling with lots of activities and noise pollution made by loud people, that particular nite was overpowered by vehicle pollution. So after the movie we spent most of the nite and the early morning, just hugging,kissing and catching up on things. SWEET!

I crashed at her house, and the next day was where the real fun started. We went out again and met up with my bro Jon and his new sweet galfren. We were so bored again that we ended up catching another movie, Almost Love, which wasnt bad either cuz it was funny, romantic, cute and sweet and maybe a lil crazy too, cuz there was this really freaking sad scene during the movie and everyone in the cinema felt and gripped the sadness but in a rare twist, a hilarious line from the dialoge was said and everyone burst into laughter, the writer of this movie is very witty indeed.

After the movie we met up with Jon again and we hanged out at The Balcony for a while, had a few Margarittas while watching the Ukraine Vs Saudi Arabia match. 2am and we were, well, just high i guess, but we went to have some late supper and chilled out at Swensons and we ate the most expensive Fried rice ever in town, damn $11 bucks! we ended up talking crap with my bro Jon and Sofie<---- his galfren. And i found out that maybe Rosa and Sofie may be long lost sistas cuz they really had so much in common. cool...maybe we werent talking crap, maybe talking dirty perhaps?

Anyway, it was really late and we rushed home and i crashed at her place again. We spent the whole nite together and just having fun at her home, talking and then some. To sum it all up, the whole nite with her was exciting, fun, great and horny perhaps? and of course beautiful! After which we were freaking exhausted and she went to her room while i went to "my" room and just dropped dead on bed and slept till the next day.

And now, i just cant get enough of her. Rosa love you lots! Take care and dance well! Love you!

A beautiful world for a reason and without doubt, Rosa u are my reason, a reason of comfort and a reason of peace <------ Its all you! LOVE YOU!

2006-06-16T12:02:00.000+08:00

I woke up to the sounds of Green Day, Some of their Old Skool songs, it was still playing on my stereo, i think i 4got to turn it off, and Joel's legs were on top of my stomach, freaking heavy. I pushed them away, Joel did'nt wake, as motionless as ever, i scowled at him and i got up and went to the bathroom, but i could hear him snoring from there -_- . Looking at the mirror, i noticed that i looked better as in healthy, cuz yesterday i was very white and pale, but my hair still looked the same everytime i wake up, they were all around my head like some mutated durian except yesterday they looked liked antennas..

I brushed my teeth picked up the newspaper and started reading, i felt my chest to check if any attack would occur. I was surprised to myself that i could walk around now, cuz it was different yesterday, i was just stuck in bed and every muscle in my body was stiff. But now, I feel great! But i gotta take it easy, Rosa was in a mess when i told her what happened. Im really sorry for not taking care of myself properly. I hope you're fine. "I hope she's OK," my mind goes on and on, whenever something like this happens, i worry for her the most. I Love You and Im Sorry.

Oh,ok. Joel is finally awake, he zombily walks towards his computer and starts doing his thang.
Observing his hilarious moves and actions was like watching Mr Bean in a hangover, damn funny! Joel bumps everything and slips here and there, his face with no emotion just tired and blurr -----> Zombie! , well i could tell he was watching the World Cup match this morning, well perhaps its just World Cup fever.

I only stay awake for the Brazil, Italy,Argentina, Portugal, Holland and Spain Matches. Cuz they all play incredible and beautiful soccer. And perhaps i like watching the Koreans play as well, Asian power!!!!! Being half asian, staying in Asia and having an Asian heart, im so proud of Korea, GO KOREA!! Australia is progressing quite well too, the socceroos didnt dissapoint. And the tournaments most underachieving squad, Spain, have delivered results, thumping Ukraine 4-0 !! and thats where my other half comes from, XD! go Spain go! England? forget about them, they play boring soccer. They need Rooney to be fit or else they can forget about the World Cup, cuz im starting to get irritated with Crouch's horrendous robot dance. Rooney is by far the most exciting talent besides the likes of Ronaldinho, Kaka, Ronaldo, Crespo, Saviola, Messi <-------Mostly Brazilian and Argentinian players. Who will win the World Cup? my predictions are Brazil, Argentina, Spain, Holland, Italy and Portugal. Korea could cause an upset and i would like them to go all the way! I expect all of them to Joga Bonito. I guess i caught the World Cup fever as well.

Rosa, Im now Ok. Thx to your ur indespensable love, care and concern for me. I thank you and im really sorry. I love you and cant wait for you to come back. I need a hug. I need you most of all. Love You and take care. My world is beautiful for a reason. That reason is you

2006-06-13T22:51:00.000+08:00

YES! Everythings resolved! WOOT!

Today was just me recuperating from outside sickness... cuz i usually go out and spend alot of cash buying all sorts of stuff. So i was stuck at home, it does'nt mean im broke! I still have alot of money, but i guess i rather save it for Sunday. Cuz on Sunday its gonna be a big outing with Rosa! Anyway i need a break, damn im so sick but i still go out and on top of that, i always come home very early the next day maybe 3 am, 6 am?? And yes im still sick and that would not make Rosa happy, I would only worry her. So thats wad i did, slack at home and think of her.

So here i was, in my bedroom, looking at the wall, the bed and everything i could lay my eyes upon, her watch, my ring, her boxer shorts? XD! And I wondered what she was doing right now, "i hope she's fine", and i could recall that my mind kept on saying "i love Rosa", continously like there was no end to it. I could'nt even sleep well cuz i think of her all the time and always hope that she's fine and alright.

Lets skip the afternoon becuz it was more or less the same scenario as the paragraph above except the part when i was counting the amount of money left in my wallet and really admiring how much i saved from yesterdays outing. Either than that i was very occupied with my thoughts of her. Deeply miss you Rosa!. ok then SKIP!

In the Evening, We did quarrel about some misunderstanding and miscomunication, its got something to do with yesterday, its trivial and its a small matter and the quarrel burnt out and lost its flames and it turned into a nice smooth and decent chat with her on the phone. We were on the phone for 3 hours, and i still cant have enough of her, damn i just realised that i havent heard her voice since last Friday. I truly miss her and I love her no matter how much hardships we may come across in our lives. And yes, while on the phone, we were laughing and being ourselves just like its supposed to be and im happy about it.

And there's just something else i need to do, I must help myself, help my family, help Rosa, and help her mom. I noe u would'nt understand but now, being responsible is my goal now. I wanna make everyone proud of me. And this is the 1st time i had this feeling in years. But this feeling is much more refreshing cuz now i noe i have some1 there by my side to push me on.

Rosa I love you! I love your mom too! Call you later, I know you're staying up late to watch Brazil Vs Croatia. World Cup FEVER! So im out to place some bets with my Dad hehe and im gonna beat my dad!

The world is'nt beautiful but the beautiful people make the world beautiful therefore it is beautiful! LOVE YOU ALL! especially you Rosa! Beautiful world for a reason.

2006-06-10T20:29:00.000+08:00

I did not post anything the previous days.... cuz i was away out of the country for a camp... Im really exhausted and im still sick.. i cant get rid of this headache right now....its been there for the whole duration of the camp.. I just sent an sms to my girl... need her right now... havent gotten a reply....i hope she does... everything went very wrong yesterday... it was painful and regretful.... im definitely at fault... sad and depressing.....

Right now staring at the walls everything is blank. I could hear my heart pump so fast... I feel so pissed at myself..its empty... im just a shadow of my previous self... Now im downing vodka like no ones buisness..the soothing liquid, the heat blooms and caresses my throat, its my medicine cuz currently i dont have the cure.....the solution to all of my problems is to hurt myself.... I noe im weak but who cares about it now? I dont feel any presence of concern or worry from any1 .... so what if im sick?....I dont have the cure... i need her love.....i need to see her....i hate myself...

Rosa im sorry... theres nothing i can do to change yesterday.... i really am.... i love you no matter what happens.. now please just send me a reply that u love me too... its all i need....tears roll down......

2006-06-06T17:03:00.000+08:00

Im recovering at a slow pace.. buts its been improving... no more blood choking out.. my throat feels light and dry.. thx to the medicine...i woke up at 8am today.. and realised.. shit.. im late for skool... i dragged myself out of bed... my vision still blurred and dizzy.... it was as if i was drunk...the ice cold water nvr felt better.. my whole body was burning inside out.....the cold water pierced through my nerves and it felt great... i took about 45 mins to get ready.. hehe slacker...

and when i finally got out of my house.. it was 9am.. woot 1hr late... but while dawdling on the way to school... i realised all of my frens were only coming in the same time i was heading for the school gate! What a coincidence we're all freaking late WOOT!... Classes were surprisingly interesting..its been a while since i touched thick ink-blemished heavy exam papers... but i didnt do anything instead, I dozed off with my pen in hand, WOW! i didnt noe how i did that..... I was unusually silent.. maybe because im suddenly all EMO or just sensitive i guess..... I played around with my PSP for a while.. but negative and regretful thoughts running through my brain seemed to make me lose all toleration and concetration, its like some electric current jolting my veins.... i freaked out and i suddenly grabbed my stuff and ran out of class at 11:20am without even turning around to look at my teacher's surprised look or reaction.....it was exactly 2hrs before i could really go home...

Sweating and my heart pumping and gasping for air... I saw Fairuq he too skipped lessons and we chilled out at the infamous Doughnut... He had a go at my PSP and i was rather not interested to play any games and i knew Fairuq was enjoying himself but for me i just dreamed and looked at the dark rainy sky till Shahrin and CO. appeared... 1:30pm Treated them to Starbucks and we chilled there and had some fun trash talking while sipping our favourite selection of fraps... I would no forget that face of Shahrin when he ate a slice of lavish oreo cheese cake... he savoured the moment and he really took a long time to eat it... his face? Well see for yourself.. damn funny...

The weather today was pretty fickle minded.... at one point rain would pour mercilessly on us but it would suddenly stop and drizzle.... strange... its as if the weather has a mind of its own.. the strange subtlety of the weather....

2+++ pm... I went to help pay some bills at the post office... and at 3 i went to work... only to say hi and by to my agent while he grabbed a few shots off me.... and now im back home.. missing those fun and beautiful moments i had with you Rosa.. i hope you're reading this.... I miss you... Love You, Cherish You...

2006-06-05T20:00:00.000+08:00

I woke up today and off to the bathroom... My throat is killing me... i noe its bleeding.. blood just choked out of my mouth like some waterfall... i cleaned up and took some soothing medicine and some lozanges...and went back to bed...a few mins later i was doing some exercises and sipping some hot green tea i made....

I went online and yay i was pleased to see that Rosa was online...chatted with her for an hour sadly i was too weak to keep my eyes from closing... and regretfully went off to bed to get some needed rest.... I miss her....

When i awoke... everything was like some dream.. My head dizzy and everything was smokey.... and the floor sticky and all..everything was nauseating... i looked at the time..... the time nvr budged it just stayed at 7:26pm so i snoozed off but only to be awaken by some phony phone call mins later... and that shook me back to reality and i was in fact feeling worse.......

8:00pm ... that sheer excruciating pain on my head. something familiar and i will always remember it..... but its not the same.. This is just my body reacting to my painful throat and of course exhaustion...

And now im just bored and feel like writing something.. though its not interesting at least i dont have to talk about it anymore and 4get about today...

Well theres nothing i can do... all i can say is i miss you Rosa... i hope 2 weeks would go away soon....

Im out... and thin...i lost about
5 kg... maybe because im sick.. so i gotta force myself to eat stuff....ok my energy's drained...bye...

2006-05-16T21:01:00.000+08:00

Im stumped... Im at a roadblock.. Im at grief.. i still feel sad...My dads going back .. pray for his safety.. hopefully i can come too... I had a family discussion the whole day... and plans and stuff.... so much stuff to discuss about.. I could'nt even call Rosa.. at least i sent her a msg not to worry so much..hopefully she reads it... haiz... This really sucks....
Hopefully.. everything goes fine over there back at my homeland....
Shit happens.... love you always yours truly...

2006-05-15T20:33:00.000+08:00

I dont know how to describe 2day.. it was boring, then happy then sad.. damn sad... I was at rosa's house today.. had a nice time with her.. talking and playing around... until we slept...
it was 4pm.. i was on the computer.. playing some game.. diner dash?? got soo bored.. went to her.. we kissed..... my blood rushed.... it was a very passionate moment.. beautiful in every aspect... we looked at each other eye to eye.. and continued on.. till 6pm.. it was the best feeling ever.. she even told me that it was her best moment too... i love her even more now!

Then the unthinkable struck me in the head... BAD NEWS! My mom sms-ed me... And the message was... my uncle was killed 2dae... he was shot several times infront of my grandpa's house... The killer was a hired assassin...the asshole used a M16 rifle and put 30 bullets in my uncle... it was damn shocking.. i did not know how to react.. i was extremely sad.. yet very furious... he is a great uncle... a good soldier..he is a Sargaent in the Navy Seals a good inspiration....and when the news came it sucked big time... i got damn pissed.. my whole family in Phillppines is in danger now...and the military have put protection for my relatives already..i hope and pray for their safety..i pray for my lil cousin, King, he is only 8 years old and he saw his dad die infront of him .i hope he wont be traumatised by this because he is a very clever dude and this may affect his studies... DAMN!! i was soo pissed... and sad...
Rosa was there for me.. she hugged me.... i am thankful for u rosa.. thx u! I Love You! Friends reading this.. i am now very sad...

In Memory of TITO Bouban, I love you.. you are a great uncle.. great man...

2006-05-13T18:47:00.000+08:00

Another great week! fun fun fun! I love Fridays.. they rock! wonder why.. the drinks or the movies or some great fun in a place called the refuge... its somewhere enclosed in a room with a bed with blue striped covers... yours truly would know precisely where XD!

I met with my old skool fren... yeah she changed alot... i waved at her ... and she was startled, dumbfounded and surprised? or shocked or wad? i dont noe..she was walking with her dude fren.. i busy looking for a place to eat dinner wif Rosa.. and etc...

Im much more happier everyday now.. theres a bright shine and change in me... my frens have noticed it too.. maybe becuz im much more healthy now... =D !!

Its been a while since i updated... so im like so tired now.. and my dad is currently playing some agonising classical music with moaning whores.. woot! adjusting to the music... anything goes here at home so i dont mind.. classical? metal? Hardcore? metal core? rock? alternative? Hip Hop? well black eyed peas for me if it comes to hip hop.. and some pop add a lil flava to my musical taste..

my fingers smell of strawberry.. been trying to get rid of this smell.. its too intense...well strawberries rock anyway...hehehe...

ok i think im done.. nothing much to rite about skool.. either im at home or at home or at home.. and skool.. ?

2006-05-03T11:04:00.000+08:00

A week full of roses and bees and tulips perhaps is screwing me up! WTH! exams! mock exams mean nothing to me though... i cant seem to put in effort.. but i know i would do well for my english which i did yesterday... freaking easy...."Boys Dont Cry" >>> nice topic to write about aint it?

I got another upperbody attack again... freaking painful aches and all.... pain lasts a few moments.. bear it... and yes i did... Thx to her... i pulled through... her swet voice can just get me out of anything... poof...

Every single day is different...whether happy or sad... its just another day i must build up to make it more interesting... life aint boring its how u live it...

Rosa I love u more and more! lets fight summore! XD!!

2006-04-28T22:49:00.000+08:00

Friday.. which is 2dae.. is crazy.. wild and.. angry and sweet... i dont noe why... early in the morning.. met up with my bro shadiq...chilled out wif some coffee at hand... and chatting...
Hmm.. we were so bored.... so we shared some dough to get ourselves some PoW... woot!!
I took 15 as usual but shadiq downed 25.... The PoW inside rose and burned! i felt dizzy.. sleepy and tired... 1hr 30 mins later... it reached its full potential.. everything went overdrive and went crazy! it was like riding a roller coaster which has no breaks and it just goes on and on for hours and it is so much fun!! but the crazy thing was... b4 i PoW-ed up.. i was worried abt Rosa.. and all.. i probably thought too much... and poof.. the PoW inside played and stuck with my emotions.. and i was crying all the way... then poof i dragged myself to Shadiq's house and took a nap... the PoW was still active until 5pm today...exhausting..

At 2pm i could'nt stop thinking about Rosa...so i called and called..msg..sms call ..then... i finally got her on the phone....pooooofff..we met. another long crazy story which is something like this >>>> arguments here arguments there...fun..crazy..she did something really sweet!! ....dinner with her family.....arguments again... practical joke gone wrong (something to do with ice) .....long silence... fun....crazy.. arguments....fun...kiss kiss kiss kiss.... and i went home.... lol .... as u can see.. 2dae is crazy...XD!! woot!! I just cant get enuf of her.... everyday is always different and special.. i love u lots Rosa!!

2006-04-26T18:28:00.000+08:00

Im at home.. finally updated... wasnt able to update.. had no time.. was busy having fun everyday.....2dae sucked... was not feeling that well.. my head was killing me....
I was able to rest and recover... Rosa really took good care of me she even gave me some medicine..!! ..aahhh everyday ... different things happen.. for me everytime i spend time with her... there is always something special.. and nice to remember... everyday is special when im with her.. i thank you Rosa! i love u!!!

wah .. she just sms me.. woot! she is darn sweet! woot! she cares alot! i'm so grateful for her... i love her! ok im gonna rest now... her orders.. XD! im quite weak and fragile now.. so yeah i totally agree with her... later then.. umm am i being too mushy? lol.. nah... im just being myself..... let the days grow more fruitful and prosperous!

Love all! and you to Rosa.. i noe yor're reading this too.. =P !!

2006-04-20T14:06:00.000+08:00

aaah... relaxed.. relieved... just did sum training.. sit-ups, crunches, stretching and push ups 50 each.damn tired..... i'm not at skool.. im somewhere else.. im in heaven.. im wif some1 who cares for me... and i love her!! i care for her! woot! those reading just guess who it is cuz i aint gonna say anything here... this diary has been over-read by the world... just look how many times its been viewed... -_-

ok... Well 2dae has been fun.. and its all a secret... XD ....havent updated in a while.. so i just updated for the sake of updating.. all those old readers and usual visitors.. please browse my blog carefully and peel your eyes.. there is something exquisite, special, different about this blog... everything has changed.. im a happy person!! i damn happy! i love everyday... i want it to be this way for a long time.... looks like i finally found this happyness and im staring at her now... woot!

happy always

2006-04-15T00:15:00.000+08:00

Im just tired right now.... i went everywhere this past few days including 2dae.. it was a fun week no doubt about it... teachers were not annoying and all.. except one..
i feel great! great!!!!

Now im tired.. need to regenerate and recover for another ... hopefully a nice week ahead... I went out wif Rosa after i had training 2dae.... wah she is a handful... she is a good person...really a good girl...i dun care wad negative shit other ppl think of her but she really is one fun person to hang out with! FUN!! havent had this much fun since kicking my teacher's balls back in sec 3... lots of laughter and all... ok la.. to be honest.. i went out with her almost everyday this week... and i had a lotta fun.... been going out wif her since wednesday..and i feel good everytime..i feel secure maybe? i just feel good and all.... dun want this to end.. i want it to last....

hmm...... nothing is on my mind.. so i cant continue.. i dunno wad to rite.. but rite now.. to be honest... rosa is on my mind.... AAH!!! now im having fun wif her on msn! yay!

2006-04-10T19:57:00.000+08:00

One word..... Yes!! ... slacked off the whole day... never learnt anything... no1 disturbed me from peace and it was just free flowing!...

Well havent updated yet cuz i was busy with other things....I hope it goes well 2moro as it did 2dae... and yes putera had a wierd haircut.... he looks like a geek... but still "cute" in my bros point of view...

Haiz... its just so boring nowadays at home... not that i do the same things... its just boring... theres nothing interesting at home... no one to talk to.. no one to share my thoughts or anything like that... is it boredom or just being alone??

Looks like i gotta stop now.. my noisy dad is noisy again... gosh.. but i ponder....

2006-04-06T19:30:00.000+08:00

At home the whole day... looking at the foundations.... the four walls... the tv shows... the liquor and the guitar...haiz... its kinda boring... havent recieved any phone calls from anyone... pretty lonely aint it?

Im just wierd...it doesnt bother me though.. Im just wondering when would i ever do something right and do it well... Am i just trouble? or troubled? or am i fun or just fun to be around with? haiz... so much stuff i like to think about... i think alot... i get inspired alot through hours of deep thinking, pondering?, self motivation perhaps.... self reflection.

I look around me and the surroundings... i see everything... in a different perspective... the world around me isnt beautiful... its the things around which make me relaxed.. therefore it is beautiful...I finally found peace.....

Thx you all... cya around in the next world.... which is 2moro... everyday is a totally different experience... its like travelling.... but im always afraid to settle down.. so i move on.. thats why there are days and nights.. and thats why there is such a word as "tommorrow"...

~end~

2006-04-05T19:01:00.000+08:00

Wednesday.... Nice ... smooth! woots! Theres one flaw... My dad is being unreasonable again... I cant use the computer that much anymore... cuz i did not do well for my tests... as if the computer caused it... i nvr even touch the computer anymore... so like wad the hell??? i always spend hours at work or just playing guitar! so WTF?!!

Well im not gonna listen.. let him ramble on and on.. i aint scared.... wad can he do? hit me? well he hits like a girl.. im so used to it anyway..... well i hate to talk abt it anyway... alot of probs at home nowadays... makes me feel sick...

Haiz.... i dont give a damn anymore.. i'll proove dad wrong! i did it b4 i'll do it again!!
Hmm... theres nothing much to write abt.. im not inspired by anything.... Nothing motivating either.... Everything is so dull... what is so motivating abt that? and everyones in an "EMO"state.. sad here there...theres no fun!

Im going back to my books to do some work..!! damn the house is messy... -_-

2006-04-03T22:22:00.000+08:00

well... today was smooth slick and cool! i love 2dae! it was great! cant wait for 2moro! i havent been running in a while now.. my legs need some exercise! if im ever going to win the 100m i have to start now i suppose.. its getting closer and closer! i cant wait!! WOOT!!

Anyway.. I had a nice time wif mom 2dae! we ate KFC 2gether wif joel... yeah... mom would just sit there and listen to me and joel talk trash and asking us questions and all.. love mom! People thought it was weird when they saw me say gd bye to mom.... its a custom to kiss mom on the cheek everytime we say gd bye and go on our way... so i dont noe wads the prob wif some people that they laugh and say.. Mommy's boy.. im like.. WTF?! Its a code of respect... if i dont do it i rather get my head chopped off by dad... XD!! its something which has to be automatic... seriously... i have to be thankful and i have an obligation to do so because they sweat off everyday to look after us... looking after 4 children is hard! especially when all of them turn out to be 4 wacky boys!

Anyway... my moms cheeks are the only cheeks i have kissed... haha.. its been a while since a girl has taken mom's place as the only one i would kiss ... hahaha...im still waiting anyway... XD!! Love u mom!

Anyway... cant wait... 2moro then... love all..

2006-03-31T20:53:00.000+08:00

IM so hungry... i ate breakfast dinner.. sum tit bits...lunch? yes.. apples .. chocolate bars.. cookies.. finished the bread... chocolate ice cream and some yoghurt... holy crap im gonna have a stomach ache....

But im still soooo hungry!!!
Every1 wonders where i go and sum of my frens always wonder where i dissappear to.... sumtyms they dont even see me for weeks... but actually im there all the time.. just that its at the wrong time....

Haiz.. woke up a 12pm 2dae.... and i looked at my schedule... i laughed.... i missed lessons!! hahaha!! I broke my guitar strings! sob!! .. but nvm i bought new ones and fixed them on already! woot!

im just so bored right now... i even mopped the whole house 3 times... fixed up my room and arranged everything properly and neatly..even did laundry! woo like the sound of the washing machine!!! i dont noe wads got into me.... impulsive compulsive behaviour??

at least im doing sumthing.... well im off to go mop the floor one more time!! i hope its the last time though!! later then!!
fcuk mdm TAN!!

2006-03-29T19:00:00.000+08:00

AAAHH...... I feel good.... but i also feel bad and guilty.... i have been doing lotsa shitty stuff... i dont think any1 would forgive me..... so i just wanna try my best and change for the better....
I hate this feeling... and i dont want any part to play in this anymore....

And yes... its been a while since i updated... I have been.. away from the computer for a long time.... was going out and stuff... i went out yesterday with my frends.. had a lotta fun..... this is the 1st time i touched the computer and really used it properly... other than that.. im just around the house lazing around or just dreaming......

2dae i did'nt see that bitch mdm tan around... which was good.. she really spoilt my mood and discouraged me the other day... i hope that she is sick at home because of those spiteful words she hit me with.... serves her right... its not good for a teacher to talk to a student that way anyway.. so she is wrong all the more.. being a teacher means to be a role model.. does she act like one? no... she comes late... she gets nasty... and i did nothing wrong except received my book late... WTH? well every1 is wrong... im wrong too on a different point of view.. so fcuk it.. its over... forgive and forget about it...she aint that bad anyway.. but when she blurted out my secrets to the whole darn class... makes me look at her in a different way now....

Anyway.. im in a good mood.... argh... i have to fix this problems of guilt and trouble fast... i wanna feel good and good only... dont want any sub feelings like "i feel good but guilty" and etc that shit and then some....

well later then... im suddenly feeling hot... and sad? oh ya this tv show i watched made me sulk..freaking sad happenings!! haha... well.. guys are sensitive too ya noe!! ah well...
Buzz off now.. i wanna shred the guitar now.... (>.<) !!!!

love every1....

2006-03-25T23:22:00.000+08:00

Its a nice starry, unhumid cool chilling night... a perfect night for a birthday! and ITS MY BIRTHDAY 2dae!!! i was out the whole day ..just came back from my birthday dinner with family and friends.... only had time to blog and check out my friendster and all at this particular hour ....in just a 45 mins my birthday would be over.... soo.... I HAD A GREAT TIME 2dae!!

I love 2dae! i wish it would be like this everyday!!... I went for dinner at Margaritas Mexican Gourmet Restaurant!! Mexican FOOD WOO!! absolutely scrumtious exeedingly gorgeous overwhelming food!! ... the salsa the nachos the beef the cardillo the tortilla it just rolls down my tongue... plus a few shots of margarita... which is a cocktail of tequila and some fruit juice .... it was great!! After dinner.. my dessert was a chocolate cake with lotsa candles... haha... every1 sang the very familiar birthday song as usual,... poof.. i blow the candles... even an american stranger from the other table came to wish me happy birthday....that was heart warming... anyway... it was a pleasant day! i love it!!

TO those and every1... I LOVE U!! and thx for giving me the life i have now... God bless! and Gd nite.. its a starry nite.. so 2moro.. i think theres no rain.. =D!!

2006-03-22T17:27:00.000+08:00

Woo... I feel better than ever!! recovering slowly.. thx to the whole bunch of medicine given by the doctor... i mean A really big bunch of medicine! ... so much stuff to swallow... -_-...

Anyway... The past 3 days have been.. boring... i had 2 keep myself from sleeping in between lectures.... and there was so many stuff 2 do.... Im soo tired rite now...

Anyway... I really dont noe wad to write right now.. my minds just blank... sooo.... My birthday is 3 days from now..... cant wait? or am maybe not? well i'll find that out....

2006-03-19T21:30:00.000+08:00

Im here!.. yes.. but im still sick.. havent recovered.. actually got worser... but im still holding up..
Woo! i dont noe about 2moro.. lets just see wad unfolds...im soo weak.... damn half of the week was wasted because of this fever.... all i did everyday was lie in bed.....zzzz... my stomach aches alot too... gastric perhaps... i dont noe.. everything hurts.....

Well im quite relieved at least.. my bro Jon came back home from NS.. woo! he looks tough as usual.. and tired.....anyway... ive got nothing to do.. and lying on my back staring at the ceiling wont keep me interested all day... so wad the heck.. turn on the computer and write something...

My frend George came to the house.. entertained him a lil bit....we double teamed Joel.. as usual...and played some games..... haiz... too tired and dizzy after that... i dont show it.. cuz i always smile and laugh along wif them.. i hate to worry people...

anyway... 2dae was fine.. ... 2moro then.... i hope...

2006-03-17T17:35:00.000+08:00

Yesterday.. was'nt able to update me blog... was sick... full bloom high fever... means that i had fever for a long time but it showed its true colours yesterday complicated yes.....but now i've got my strength back, recovering.. and im on my chair typing sumthing....Yesterday was the worst day ever though...

OK.. tdae.. i woke up in a pool of sweat... yeah.. my body was very hot.. and the medicine made me sweat so that my temperature would drop... argh... my throat is still rough... but at least im recovering....

Anyway.... I think thats all perhaps.... im still feel very weak.. and kinda dizzy.... so i'll just stop here.... laters...need 2 rest.... cant go 2 werk 2dae...zzzz.....

2006-03-15T09:56:00.000+08:00

yeah......i played some kinda game with my mom yesterday.. haha.. and she does'nt notice... muhaha.. my mom thought i went out.. but actually i was at home all along! i was just hiding here and there dodging every chance or opportunity for her to see me... i tip toed across the the hallway into my bedroom.. dressed up in my jeans and shirt.. tip toed out of my room and walked just passed her.. she still did'nt notice!! wow!! i feel like an undercover cop or sumthin... XD!!!!!!! then i went out.. opened my front door and gate.. and went back in and shouted.. "mom im home! "... "Jared your back early!" my mom replied.. lol lol lol!! i was home the whole time!!!! she does'nt noe!! hahahaha!!

Anyway.. i just woke up... received a call from my fren who woke me up with the ring of my hp.. shit.. i just missed chemistry classes.... damn... anyway.. wad the heck... its holidays... so that can wait... and i've been studying for 2 days straight so give me a break will ya Mrs Teo? I don't noe wad the hell is wrong wif the skool.. there are holidays yes... but they dont seem like it.. i just end up in skool again during the holidays when i actually wanna get away from there and enjoy get my mind outta skool..but then skool is always in my mind so i cant fully enjoy anything the holidays offer.....zzzz....so if there be any extra classes by any of my teachers all that they get is an empty seat and the phrase "give me a break u fcuktards!" ...

Anyway... my mind aint abt skool... im currently in a good crazy wacky mood! time to go out to town wif sum buddies... need to disturb the peace of the strangers walking down the road of Orchard... time for some fun jackass time.. something i havent done in a while...... vodka any1 ??
Shadiq! pass the glass... lets down a few dude! =) !! later ..... Now thats better than power..

2006-03-14T15:39:00.000+08:00

woo... yeah... free free free... days are free.. woo.. im so free... but i dont noe how 2 spend my time properly...anyway.. yeah... hmm.. i shut myself out from society whenever there are days like this... too tired too sleepy and theres no mood... haiz....

need to recuperate.... regenerate/rejuvenate? and energize for next week.. cuz there will no longer b the playful me.. but the serious one.... gotta do this and make this year rite... end this year on a high.. and get away from this dreadful skool of mine....

Agh!! its almost my birthday.. its just next saturday.... march 25... bummer....excited? kinda... but it would b a quiet and a sweet one i suppose.....i hate big bday parties... too much ppl.. i like to spend moments alone on important days like this....

Yeah.. home is just like home... gosh.. havent done my chores yet... ok so im off... currently this excessive compulsive mind of mine makes wanna do something.. and quick too.. so later....

2006-03-10T19:01:00.000+08:00

phew.... Friday..... tired... sleepy... i slept till 1pm... and woke up.. and poof.. i missed classes... no mood for classes anyway.. some1 just stole sumthing from me and that just pisses me off....so FCUK U!!!! ..

Surprisingly 2daes kinda boring...maybe bcuz im not goin out 2dae.. im broke!! I still got some problems of my own to solve.. so a whole day at home would be great to think about it... so much pressure!

Well theres always next week..!! but time flies.. so a week aint good enuf....
Hmm... probably b having some attatchments? ... will i b busy? or should i go out and catch a movie with sum1? 2dae or next week? Oh yeah.. still got jamming which is part of the plan.. shit....If i go out 2dae....i'll probably b back 2moro... if i go next week.. same scenario but different days... different plans.. same motives...different times dates opinions critical accusations and misconceptions...what time should it be? i still got work 2 do? friends? do i have time??...haiz.. my mind as far as i can see is in a complete mess...

Well i hope i solve this riddle quickly.. this feeling is like a bullet in the head..... yeah i just watched the movie fight club.. total mindfcuk, crazy psychotic madness and fun but violently hilarious!! hey.. its a cult movie wad do you expect? girls? nah.. FIGHT CLUB ROCKS! oh yeah.. maybe chicks dont have a thing for violence.. but hey this may attract them .. Brad Pitt is one of the main characters!! but he plays the bad guy well not exactly a real bad guy.. but a person who can b seen only from the eyes of the mentally doubled visualled chaotic person.... but still FIGHT CLUB ROCKS!!

Well.. i'm going out after all! a friend called! woo! 2moro then!! where are the coats and the jeans.. im outta here!!

2006-03-08T16:02:00.000+08:00

Yeah.... currently listenin to this band... incubus... woo they rock... love their old albums cuz its a good example of how funk rock should be played.....but their new ones are kinda dissapointing... their best album for me is.. fungus amongus... woo alotta funk and cool riffs!! very addictive songs.... fast tongue twisting lyrics which i have no idea if it makes sense but i can comprehend to think of it..its all fun....yeah..

Damn... 2dae was.. simple... and.. nothing interesting interests me 2dae...something very unusual for me.. cuz usually something crazy happens and poof i got a lotta stuff 2 rite.. but nah.... i dont mind... give my head a break....anyway....

hmm..... im still ever so searching.... looking and seeking..... when shall i find the one i seek.. i dont noe... but i gotta be hilikus!!

Poof!!

2006-03-07T19:34:00.000+08:00

Tired... sleepy.... guess who visited me at my home.... HAZWAN!!! woo!! my lost bro... the clever one who did not make it.. the one who passed everything but ended up in ITE instead.. my bro... hazwan!! wooo!! Basket the 1st thing he asked me is.. Jared .. Tom Yam??? zzzzzz.........
but i did not have any more Tom Yam... so improvise.....cooked prata and curry instead.... mm mm mm!!... ate till we were full... ended up playing PS2 winning eleven...zzz.. lost to him twice...haiz..

He came bcuz he wanted to use my computer to check into his friendster and upload shit from his phone... and do lotsa crap.... haiz... the same usual funny guy.... yeah...

nothing more to say... the day has just started for me... yeah exams and all... but hell i breezed through them 2dae... nothing but a snap of a finger.... yeah....

aites.. poof then...

2006-03-05T16:02:00.000+08:00

IM tired.... im sick.. im sick.. im tired..... im exhausted... and worn out..... my temperature goes to 39 degrees.. but drops to 37 when i rest.. rises again when i wake up.. but now its on neutral 37.2
so i hope it just stays that way....

i did not go out or anything 2dae.. was really not feeling well... i did not follow my family out ... i think my mom and dad are angry wif me.... so .. to ease their anger abit.. i cleaned the house.. arranged the shoes... filled the bottles... wiped the tables.. arranged the chairs... and mopped the floor.....phew tired.. but worth it.. cuz i went to bed again... i just woke up and currently writing down everything thats happened so far until 4.06pm.. XD!!

2moro..zzz... another day of stress.. but its ok.. i'll get to see my frens... Sunday is usually relaxing.. so im kinda slack.... hmm.... homework? nah... i 4got wads my homework...

I hope this week would be fun and fun and fun.... i really hope.. i want some happiness in life... i really do.. im just soo sick and tired.. so pls....

thoughts and emotions stir around in me.... sadness lingers on........

2006-03-03T21:06:00.000+08:00

tired.. soo tired.... came back home from the soccer match and my ankle goes into haywire mode again... zzz... Anyway.. todays soccer match was one of the best ones i have ever played!! we won 7-6 ! and the last goal was a golden goal.. so we were actually tied 6-6 after 90 mins...

In the 1st half... the whistle was blown... the match starts... the ball is controlled by the opponents and then its stolen by Safwan... Safwan passed the ball to me and I ran passed every1 using my speed.. every1 bit my dust! XD!..I controlled the ball...and tapped it into the empty net .. the keeper was stranded in the middle of the goal.. GOAL!!.. the fastest goal in the school's goal-scoring history.. which is now 48 seconds.. !! yeah.. 2 mins later.. i scored again!! a solo goal from the left flank.. passed 4 defenders... blasted it home!! GOAL!!! 2-0! ....

Then my opponents fought hard.. and got a goal back.. and scored once again 6 mins later.. so it was 2-2... then towards the end of the half.. I crossed the ball to Wee Bin.. and he to scored a lovely "Nistel Rooy"-like kind of goal...so the half ended 3-2.. we were leading..

Second half.. nightmare! in 10 mins.. we were 3-5 down.. our opponents really wacked us hard... so we pushed on ... and Fairuq scored a lovely banana shot from outside the penalty area... 4-5...
Then 5 mins later.. Fairuq scored another one.. similar type of goal.. so it was 5-5... 10 mins later... Hafiz scored a crazy goal... from way outside the area.. he got the ball.. and crossed the ball into the penalty area.. but the cross was too high! it lobbed over every1 the keeper went to catch it but fumbled and it ended up in the net.. so YES! we were up 6-5.. we are goin to win!! we had 5 mins left to play.. but after that goal.. they scored another goal.. our goalkeeper fumbled the ball... so it was tied 6-6... Extra time /Golden Goal... I was already injured.. i sprained my ankle again bcuz i got tackled really hard by one of the defenders earlier in the second half..... but i fought on and 4got about the pain..... 15 mins of extra time.. i recieved the ball from a long clearance by Redzal.. i dribbled past 2 defenders.. and layed the ball back for Fairuq to shoot... and his shot went passed the keeper into the net!! GOAL!! .. and we won 7-6!!

AFter that.. my ankle really went haywire.. and i had to resist the pain the way home.. not 2 4get.. my home is at woodlands.. freaking far from the place i played soccer at... but i felt good.. cuz it was a fun game and every1 enjoyed it...

2006-03-01T21:44:00.000+08:00

2dae was ouch.. yelps and ... free?? .. yeah free.....I played pool the whole day yesterday... XD!!
why ouch?? my sprained ankle is killing me.... cannot even walk up the stairs properly... let alone climbing 5 storeys.....And i got a soccer match on Friday... i think... so i hope to b fit till then... pls pls pls....i wanna do SAFFC proud.. lol... no longer play 4 them anymore.. zzz...I used to though... many years ago.. nice memories wif them... the yellows and the lovely bright reds flashing pass my face.... miss those cards....played left midfield...completely missed.... ok cut it...

Basically 2dae.. i was limping here and there everywhere.....and just soooo tired.... i could not even get up from my bed for starters... zzz...

Why free?? cuz i only had 1 "real" lesson out of the whole day... cuz the rest of my teachers really.. nvr came.... so its.. 8 free periods for me in total for 2dae... and i did'nt noe how 2 spend it...really.... If i was smart i should have not come in the 1st place...zzzz...

The lights from the shady grim shade ever so dimeth the hallway of my house..... but its still bright! ???!!?? confused.. yes... I really have nothing on my mind..its just .. not working properly.... the only thing in my mind is.. is... is... this person whom i had a chat with b4 i went for my break and told her im just walking around just to kill time.... seems i did'nt chat with her in a while.. so..yeah.. a moment... and it took me by surprise.. never expected it.... XD!!! there.. its out of my mind....

Alrite.. .. i think im coming in late again... im goin MOS baby!! laters!!

Poof!!

2006-02-27T19:20:00.000+08:00

Wah... Monday.. was really crazy... had fun... really made me forget abt the previous 2 days of crap.... Had PE.. it was hell.... my head suddenly attacked... ended up puking everywhere ..... zzz.. but i was still able to run 7 laps... fight on..!!!

Then me and my buddies as usual... disturbing safwan.... yeah... fun....after that had a nice nap all the way.... until it was interupted with the horrid smell of ammonia gas.... damn... chemicals chemistry practicals practically hard to comprehend...zzz WTH!!!

After the day... had filming! just finished filming 2 scenes... yeah was fun.... another 15 more scenes to go..!! fun fun and some coffee and then some....

I looked down the horizon of the parade square... saw ppl playing floorball... woo! wad the heck... lets play! havent touched tat damn stick in a while... and hell... i havent lost my touch....dribbling past almost every1... yeah i love and miss that feeling... except the only thing i lost is my shooting...zzz.... bsides that i was dancing the samba!! even Mr Kumar could'nt catch me... haiz.. i played for abt 5 mins... than i got soo tired... louzy fitness... zzz.... so i sat down... ended up juggling the light ball.... easy!!! then poof!! cramps!! ouch!! well it was fun

There was this guy... i think he is from 2e1.. haha i disturbed him until he could not take it anymore......poor guy....well i got nothing 2 do..... so crap around shall i?? i did precisely...

Then off home i went.. took a taxi though... freaking cramps.. and i think i sprained my ankle in the process..zzz.... oh hell.. sports meet is still 2 months away.. so nothing 2 worry... it will b a breeze... XD!!!

laters... poof??!

2006-02-26T21:38:00.000+08:00

Hmmzz... 2dae was fun... but b4 i elaborate further..... yesterday, which seemed soo great and fun.. ended in tears..... had a family discussion late at night.... My dad stamped his frustrations... yes i understood... and all..my family is just moving far apart... just saddening.... and my elder bros ended up fighting and arguing.... just infront of me and joel... it was sad... damn...... it was the 1st serious argument/fight after over 7 years i think? yeah... painful.... all i could do was watch helplessly.. hey im younger than the both of them.. wad could i do?? My parents only could restrain them but a hole has been carved and it will b hard to cover it up already they exchange harshed words... and i dont think forgiveness will b in their minds for quite some times......tension tension.... family in crisis....hell..if i bring a camera and record my everyday life with my family i could sell it for a drama serial.... tats how bad the situation is... so in the whole "discussion" i stayed silent and yes.. sad....

Well 2 continue.. 2dae was fun.... went shopping wif dad, my fellow "adopted" bro George and Joel... Damn its been a while since i went shopping wif DAD!! .... so it was sweet... ...

After which i reached home and dozzed off into dreamland of sophistications... had a nice dream of colourful bright colours and weird people who have feelers on their heads.. WTH!??!!
2moro my class and I would be doing sumthing fun!! we're doin filming!! and yes who is the Director and editor/producer?? Every1 looks at me .. so yes i got no choice... since i got the most experience in the movie world.... XD!! lol.. any1 remember the movie i made abt the Tamil Tigers when i was sec 3????!! well its something like that.. its gonna b a teacher's day thing i guess.. seems that it will b endless late nights and coffee for the next 3-4 months of projects and editing..... looking forward.. means that im gonna b on the computer everyday and i got more time to blog....cheers to that!!

Im counting my days......and they all spell one word....alone..... yes its alone..... always and will forever will be until.......

poof.....sadness lingers on....

2006-02-25T20:37:00.000+08:00

aaah 2dae was refreshing..this morning i finally..... met my aunts , granduncle and relatives from USA!! woo!! .. they're a fun bunch!! sadly they had 2 leave at 11am... so we met them very early in the morning and had breakfast wif them at the airport and yeah we spent quality time!! Its 8.30 am!! My granduncle still could walk and carry his own luggage by himself despite of his very old age!! We Had Fun... candid photographs, wacky conversations [MY AUNT PLAYS GUITAR TOO!! ]....and then some... after which we sent them off at the airport... sad..... the fun lasted for 3 hrs.... sad... well there is an ending to everything.. cant go on foreva... except marriage(basically marriage is broken till either the husband or wife dies) so yeah nothing lasts....wateva... XD!!!

Had to teach again! woo !! fun!! My students are all so paying attention... gd job!! That would give me more confidence!! but yeah .. they learnt a few chords and all.. gd.. gd...!! wads next? scaling?? hehehe we'll see..

After that there was the anniversary!! yeah!! I learnt alot!! and thought alot wad life was really about... very touching....but sadly life is still lonely for me...it seems i still gotta b patient..... well i dont mind waiting 5 yrs..hey i have already passed 2 yrs so 5 yrs would b a breeze..... i suppose its all planned out for me.... so im just goin to live on looking forward! yes!!

Looking forward and cant wait wad mysterious happenings will ever occur after!! patience yeah!!

Poof!!! Its all bcuz im really in a good mood... and it seems no1 2dae can piss me off... well tats wad i get for going through a very wicked day yesterday..my reward perhaps.. hehehe..

poof again i guess...

2006-02-24T15:33:00.000+08:00

2dae.. was very..... shittish.... my dad gave me a ride.... woo in the subaru impreza!! yeah was just in time to make the hit the bell.. wad made 2dae crappy was the total discouraging words of bullshit and unwisdom-like shit from Mr Eng... really seriously.. had no mood to study or listen to anything else... i was totally silent the whole day until it was break.... i was really at rage... i rarely get angry.. but surprisingly it 2dae was one of those days.. let alone rushing to skool.. beating the bell.. freaking tired and stressed then to make the matters worse a lash of spiteful words hit me... WTH!! total piss off...my tolerance lvl was not up to par....so yeah fcuk u ENG!!

My silence broke during break... damn my buddy disturbed safwan aka wan-dragon/ fatass... rampaging him with super explicit humiliating funny insults... woo! freaking funny... he even called safwan wan-subu.. or wan - subutex.. hahaha.. nice!! the whole day after break was me disturbing the fat guy... even on the way home.. my buddies and myself continue on and on... poor guy..even Joel joined in the fun... as a result he got punched... haha

The day is goin 2 b a fast one... damn gotta prepare my lessons for 2moro.. woo im teaching again... then theres a big play 2nite.. a drama production by my big bro's(Justin) skool...yeah hopefully its nice.. im up 4 anything 2dae... everything is free flowing and mood swinging at the moment so anything goes.... XD!!!

i need a break... a very long break..... i've got fever.. but im not telling my parents.. dun wanna worry them.... this fever has been hitting me for a few days already... so.. i hope it will subside soon.. :)!! i think all i need is some rest and some nachos... and some soup too mushroom soup?? ... and then some.... my eyes get pale and my legs get weak... i feel like a twig... helpless and weightless....

gonna go get sum slp.. then on with the show... with the lights out........ and the lights will on once again...

Poof........

2006-02-23T20:29:00.000+08:00

ARgh!! .. frustration.... is my hair really that long?? seriously?? nah.. i did'nt have to cut it anyway.. so i dunno wad the fuss is abt... XD!!! i did sum extreme manipulation of the mind and it worked out just fine... muhahaha.. in your face ms tan!!

Well 2dae was a very pacey yet slacked day... one moment im sleeping the next im studying and b4 i noe it its time to go home... wow!! time flew too fast 2dae.... how am i supposed to enjoy if it continues like this..... zzzz.... i mastered the led zeppelin "song stairway to heaven" (one of the greatest and hardest songs to play on guitar ever!! thank you Jimi Page! those of you wondering wad it is go download it..XD! )..but.. the solo is the only problem i'll figure that out pretty soon....

ThE weather has been crazy these days... its been raining but the wierd thing the sun is out.. no wonder i get fever attacks after that.. not gd for me... zz.. fcuk you weather!! or is it global pollution/warming.... ahh wth.. its obvious the world may end pretty soon... ;)!!

From echoes, to cations to waves to histograms to cold war to chemical equations to geomerical transformations.... HOLY SHIT!! system overload!!!! and dont 4get photoshoots too... damn headache man... wooo tiring.... well life is full of difficulties and i am goin to storm through it(self confidence and motivation are important aspects of character building) but hey WTH!!??!..... and yes... i must learn how to keep my word... i want to be sum1 who ppl can rely on... not just the guy next door.... i want to b dependable... yeah... im trying.. but its all up to me yeah...i pray that my future would be a bright one.. but if i go i go out with a bang.. not just fade out.....like kurt cobain said.. its better to b blown away then to fade away... XD!!! honor and respect to u kurt..ur the antirock star idol i will always idolise.... i noe ur're in hell cuz u killed urself.. so find peace with the suffering and the suffering make do with peace in there and hope the devil does'nt torment u too much.. rock on!! respect and honor once again Nirvana lives on!!

Its now late.. surprisingly... dinner is'nt ready.... freaking hungry... JOEL!! is dinner ready yet?!!
Haiz... its chicken again...zzz... why not steak or some fish? lol... mushroom soup?? any1?

And now my mind is blank.. totally.. and and poof..
poof poof... hasta luego..

2006-02-21T21:32:00.000+08:00

The day seems sooo long..... i want it to end already..... zzz... every moment.. i go into this state of mind... deep in thought... everything abt me is blurred... and my mind races up and down trying to find answers to this confusing life of mine..... mind boggling... haiz.... sometimes i feel.. when somethings are always looking right and bright,they go bad in the end... it always happens to me.... yep me....i wonder.... haiz... its very frustrating...

yes to top that one... classes are stressful.... lectures make me sleepy... the lecturer picks at me... mdm fatimah pisses me off....zzzz..... and my eyes hurt damn badly.... This year is'nt a pleasant one for me...... i just want it to end quickly... bring on the paper and i'll finish it quickly...and...love... haiz.. love... nvr felt it in years... 2 -3 yrs to b exact.... something i miss... and something i'll treasure when i finally receive it gratefully.....

The days get colder.... not the weather.. toking abt the atmosphere around friends and bros... tension rises as tests get closer.... a lot of work to b done.... my head aches every moment i ponder on this....sometimes i would just sit down and stare blankly... erase my mind off anything... and just imagine the world i have just created in my sophisticated and imcomprehendable mind.... a gift perhaps to have such a wild imagination stained with the thoughts of a drug addict to a politician and a genious manic depresssionoia.... wooo.... thank you God....

well.. wadever this is.. i feel gd abt writing it down... wadever happens in my lonely future.... is seriously not my doing... its just pre-planned by this supernatural all powerful spirit somewhere.. everywhere.. around us.. dwelling among us.. looking down on us.. taking care of us... and helping us....

The world is changing.. times are changing... ppl... start to die once they are born out of the mom's womb... every1 is dying....pandemics..diseases..HIV for crying out loud....when we all grow old.. we die...and we go back to the ground as dust or sand or mud...and out spirits enter the realm of the supernatural sum places dreadful.some beautiful no clever mind could ever imagine what its like cuz we have to die and yes those who died cant tell us wad its like cuz its simple they're dead.... simple as that... well im just glad i still survived....now all i want is sincere loving and care...

poof... no mood... POOF!! speak my mind... inspired inspiration.. finally my 1st of the year... poof!

2006-02-20T18:18:00.000+08:00

2dae was boring... haha ... i met familiar ppl 2dae..... Putra and Zikrie.. hahaha they repeated.. great more ppl.. and yeah nazirul is in too!! along wif T-ming.... wooh...!!!

yeah re-did my blog... i like the mystical feel my new layout gives out... i like it... wadever....
Yeah i was sleeping the whole day... too tired.. except for the 1st few hours of the day.. had PE....
basically after that was just slacking around... and looking walking around... looking around...on and on..... had no cards so we could'nt have a game of bridge or sumthin to kill time.... zzz...

Yeah bought some more boxers on the way home!! haha yeah.. another 40 bucks down the drain though...zzz -_-...... yeah well im actually writing to kill time... can't wait for 2nite... theres a project!!! WOOO!! back to work!!!!!!! yes!?!?!!!

And then some...nothing else to say......zzzzzz........ alrites stop here then and listen to one of my favourite spanish songs titled Tus Ojos sung by Belanova!!.... ¡que le vaya bien every1!!! hasta luego!!!!!!

2006-02-18T23:29:00.000+08:00

2dae was wild... fun.... boring ... and i think i hate the word think.. shit i just used it..... wateva....
And tiring... does'nt it look outta place?? nah looks nice...

Alrites... 2dae lotsa nice things happen... yeah taught guitar... lol my students sooo funny...... the way they press so cute.. haha most of them girls ar.. hahaha... yeah it was fun....
After tat went jammin... then pool!!! WOOO!! so many... hahaha... lol ... yeah... now tired damn tired... yeah i mopped the floor and cleaned up the mess.... XD!!!

The days have are suddenly getting crazier or is just me?? i dont noe.. have no idea... have no intention to get the idea.. cuz i'll have to put thought in it... and i did not use think mind u..
And i also invented the a new tongue twister!! cool !!! yeah tats wad fifi said.....XD!! and after that i got hit by the word giiiilllleeeerrrr all nite.. haiz....

Then after that ... blank... now i'm havin a go at the PS2 i repaired for my fren.. yeah it is functioning well.. but still has sum probs to tinker around... freaking idiot of a fren to put baby oil on the lens... total moron.. ok enuf of the insults...

Yeah.. the pain on my head has gone!! wohoo! except every morning i always feel this pain.. after that its ok... haha freaking dumbell...well at least i dont need to use the freaking smells-like-toilet-perfume oil anymore XD!! thats a plus!! gd fortune indeed..... well i win sum i lose sum...

POOFS!

2006-02-17T17:55:00.000+08:00

Colours on the rainbow so pretty in the sky.. it has just finished raining outside from... black clouds to crystal sky.... blank... dunno why.... ploop.... hey fly.......the words of this song are so nice that they always rhyme twice.. there is zab alak wlafjwa zzzzzaaawwawazwawad mamm!!!!
The result of a really bored person exceeding the bored limit..... sad..... XD......

The weeks been.. fast... exciting? nah.... fun? for the 1st few days perhaps... soso-able... yes precisely.... 2dae was quite dull... damn i'm losing my concentration already... i cant even stay awake during History lectures.. which i usually do and disturb the surrondings.. anything breathing.... now its like.. no more enerrgy to do that anymore... oh shit... i got an important Exam by the end of the year... come on dude focus......

cant wait 4 2moro.. goin jammin.... lotsa shit to jam and a few originals i composed while i was dreaming.... yeah looks like im gonna spend 52 bucks for 4 hours....well b4 that... im probably playing pool wif ma buddies.... and at nite.... all jamming... oh shit... theres a soccer match 2moro.. i think.. a forget it.... and yeah b4 jammin, b4 pool... im gonna teach guitar... yeah... my 1st time teaching.. im gonna see how it feels like being a teacher... woo!! can bully my students!! "HOMEWORK!!" ... rite..... XD!!!!!!

Oh yeah abt the Dumbell incident.. yeah my heads nvr been better... just had another ouch attack but yeah its ok now... zzz .. freaking oil smells lyk toilet perfume.... X_X... !!! The puzzles of the jigsaws of the problems of the mysteries of the enigmatic human.... O_O~!! BOOM!! im on the floor slp-ing...

wake up writes this whole column.... and then some... literally mind speaking....
ppl who pierce thier ears and make their ear holes as big as a 50 cent coins live in africa with the Masai ppl .... freakin masochists...... only indegenious ppl would mutilate and defile such a precious gift like our bodies.. face... hands ... legs... "DICK"??? .. "Pussy"-cat? ...masochisoistic!! XD!!! yeah i saw a guy/idiot who had earholes the size of a 50cent coin... and i shouted "OMG, u freaking gay!!! look u pierced the right hole not the left!! u an idiot or wad? and look at my thumb can go in sey!! WAAAH!!!!" hey... the jackass in me has'nt died out yet....

when another of this trips happen.. i'll rite more... see ya laters.. need to go 2 bed.... uugh.. feel like puking but its ok... zzzzzzzzzzz

POOF!!!!!!!!!!

2006-02-16T22:50:00.000+08:00

2dae was hectic..... towards the end of lessons... excruciating headache kicks in... almost puked.... then poof.. my handphone went missing(WTH!).... looked everywhere.. anywhere... could'nt find it... well in the end after hours of searching finally found it... a long story... those involved FCUK U!!! lol! Nice one though ;D ... those who dont have a clue.... too bad.... zzz
poof.. and into the realms of dreams of inspired sensations....

2006-02-14T21:00:00.000+08:00

ha.. 2daes valentines day..... rather dry.... but was fun...... hell i got no1.... hehe..... so yeah....all i did 2dae was just sit down in a corner wif my buddies and had a game of taiti.. hahaha.. wad a time to spend valentines huh?? hey valentines day aint for sweethearts... its also for gd frens... so wad the heck.....

My dad is out to bangkok for a buisness trip again... woo! damn happy and sad... happy cuz he wont b there to scold me... sad cuz he wont help me in my maths and yeah give me allowance hahaha... im an asshole.... hey watever man..... damn I could think straight if it was'nt for that freaking dumbell....zzz... crash big bruise... headaches...and then some...

The day has'nt ended yet.. goin out... wondering where i might go?? well all the way to the other side of the island... tampines perhaps?? why? i dunno.... i think i havent hung around that area in a while....nah nothing related to valentines... well i dont care if i go home really late cuz 2moro i'll probably be very early anyway even though i will slp early in the late hours of the early morning... hope u got that... XD

POOF!!

2006-01-02T15:22:00.001+08:00

ahem... im back after my vacation... guess wad.. i got long hair!! muhahaha.. rite.. happy new year everyone!!!

thats me 4 new years.. slp soundly in my undies.. lol thx JOEL!!!

2005-10-07T21:25:00.000+08:00

2dae is my last day of skooL!!!! wohoo!!! and my last exam was Maths paper 2... i thought it was gonna to be hell... but it was..... FREAKIN EASY!!!!... so im lookin forward to getting my results next month... IM so happY!!!!!!!! no more skool!! freedom at last!! and also quite sad... not gonna see my frens in skool anymore... but still i will pay a visit once in a while so i dun mind... rite now im lookin forward not backwards... wads done is done... now im gonna enjoy months of wild and crazy fun!!!

2005-10-04T17:40:00.000+08:00

My Maths Paper 1 2dae was easy....i expected it to be... what im worried of is my maths paper 2 on friday... anyway... 2moro no need 2 come skool.. no exams.. Thursday is Physics and Chemistry... WTF??!! both science elective on the same day!!! Its hard enough to study one subject... but to study and sit for 2 Science subjects makes my brain go *(&(@^&@#^FUwadCK!!U(.... haiz.... it feels gd to go back to school not as a student of the skool.. but as an exam candidate and u can stare at the teacher straight at the eye and point the finger at him/her or even f*ck them up with total bullshit.... no need to follow those lame rules... so after this week i'm totally free!!! no more boundaries.. except at home of course....one down.. one more to go.. hehe..

2005-10-03T20:07:00.000+08:00

family photo.. My mom's birthday... Jon is in NS.. shit... Joel wats with the cap??

2dae is my mom's birthday!! and last Saturday was my elder bro Jon's birthday!! yeah... We had a simple cake... cute lil cake..to me it was something special...

This week is N-level week... 2dae was my english paper 1, 2 and History....english was easy... but history was a nightmare... could'nt think of anything.. slept halfway through the paper when suddenly i dreamt of all the answers...when i woke up i scribbled the answers which i saw in my dream only to find out i had 30 mins left... haiz....but the worst is yet to come... 2moro is my maths paper 1... (SHIT!!)...

2005-09-29T23:50:00.000+08:00

from 2dae onwards.. september 29 2005.. im no longer a student of Fajar Secondary school... but i still get to take my N-levels ... after that im out.. out of that crappy skool.... i feel sad cuz i will probably nvr see my frens faces again for quite some time... i wont miss the skool but i will miss u guys... I luv u all man..thx for the memorable 4 yrs we had 2gether....all the memories... now im so screwed... and helpless like a dumb prostitute...im sad and im angry also.. furious but i also cant think of anything... helpless and speechless... gd bye... next week is my last week.... will say my last gd byes to u all ......

2005-09-14T21:36:00.000+08:00

N-levels getting closer.. every1 is bz... Everything is turning dull.. the weather is getting hotter... the days get drier.. the bills get higher...only 2 words can describe year 2005...its "f*cked up" !!!
well i think this will be my last post for September this year cuz i will be off studying or doin sumthing productive.. haha.. yeah.. its time to get serious... will be back posting next month on October 7.. thats one day after My N-levels.. wohoo! But if i do post this month, its out of boredom.. and stress perhaps... Hmm.. things with my family have gone smooth now.. no more quarrels and arguments so far... phew! except my lil bro Joel has been doin sumthin stupid lately that it mad my parents scold me again.. haiz.. darn kid...well... tats the life of a big bro...

So freaking tired right now.... just finish cleaning and fixing up my room, those of u who have been to my house know tat my room is a dump.. Amplifiers lying here and there.. wires all over the places, boxers hanging sumwhere, broken guitar strings, nails and shards of glass.. haha.. but dun worry its now fixed up ... its clean just for now only to notice that in a few weeks time it will turn back into a dump again..so its all in vain!! haiz.. well i gotta do my best to keep it the way it is... it felt good after cleaning up theres a sense of accomplishment in me i havent felt this good since hmm... maybe tats becoz i nvr cleaned my room or i havent scored on a chick in a while..just kiddin hehehe!!..its nice and cosy when ur in a clean room...listening to Queens Of the Stone Age and playing their songs on my guitar... ahh.. if im still bored i can just look at my psychedelic wall and stare at it for hours...

2005-09-10T01:18:00.000+08:00

Hmmm... haiz.... sigh....holidays dont seem to be holidays... instead for me holidays is housework, chores and cookin dinner 4 the family everyday... WTF??!! all my bros went out everyday this week but i had no plans to go out and in the end i end up doing all this shit and sorta bcum their "maid"....tat sux.. now i noe wad its lyk to be a housewife... so 2moro... f*ck my home!! i'm goin out!!!! well its kinda late and i havent slept for abt 3 days in a row... too restless too tired to sleep and again WTF?!!!...

2005-09-05T18:53:00.000+08:00

Hows my blog?? hehe!! its better aint it?? simple....
Its time.... N-levels... haiz.... its so fast aint it?? wish i was a baby... the pure innocence.. no stress, no studies, no house chores....just a milk bottle or sum funny toy inside my mouth.. fiddling around in my play pen...reacting to all the funny noises or movements to passers-by... aahh...but hell!! tat was long ago....its study time.."so called"... well my prelim results sucked..although i passed 3 subjects its still not enough as the total score i should get is 10 or below.. i got 13!!!! Well i gotta do sum hard work from now on... 2day was my MT paper.. and yeah "my otak SOT!!!" what to do?? ..sigh* i think i would pass... cuz i passed MT 4 my prelims which was a pleasant surprise... but all tat's past f*ck tat.. im focusing on 2moro.. Social Studies... I gotta do good 4 N-levels... if not...i will not go to sec 5 (so obvious) nor will i go to ITE.. my father gave me an ultimatum to pass N-levels or else i would not be studying in Singapore anymore.. (Who cares abt Singapore?? i just care abt my frens!) Where am i goin i wonder... sumwhere else in another f*cked up country perhaps... so wish me luck!!

2005-08-22T21:17:00.000+08:00

headache!!......

When the moon shines, from the heavens above.. life would be sweet so green and so young i open my eyes as i lie on the floor join me as we both live in ecstacy!!
When your mind flies we'll be playing our song killing the buzz the we have all along
smoking some weed is all that we do
F*ck it fool we never said u should too!!!!
WAha!! i just love singing this song especially singing the part about smoking weed haha really makes fun of smokers as the next line says "we never said u should too"!!! its just in my mind rite now!! cant take it out.. had a headache since yesterday.. this freaking flu just cant seem to die out..stuffy nose which just cant seem to clear out and a whole lot of shit...and then some....

Today is the 1st time i did'nt mess up my hair with wax and i just let it down...and i noticed tat my hair is so freakin long.. cant believe tat it can still stand... my hair is all over my face... sideburns covering my ears... my back puffing out... wooh!! i wanna keep my hair lyk this till next year before i cut it...hmm.. i think tats all.. mind mind is blank so dive in the wells and you'll see!!!!!!!

2005-08-17T23:04:00.000+08:00

Everybody is at home studying their asses off 4 exams.. im at home having some stoner fun!!

ahh.. it feels gd.... havent updated since when?? man last week..shit?!! that was long.. i was too lazy to do anything this week.. And besides.. my dad bought me an electric guitar to keep me away from the computer... but i think it is'nt working.. cuz im at it again..muhaha!!nah.. actually it is.. i only come 2 the computer to check my e-mail and friendster...update blogs like wad i'm doing right now....
Damn i still cant play the solo 4 Jimi Hendrix's voodoo child right yet.. need more practice... its been only 4 days since my dad got me the guitar.. and i have learnt how 2 play alot of songs already.... well my favourite song to play everyday now is Purple haze by Jimi Hendrix.. Mastered the whole song.. its a great song to play when ur high!!When i play the intro i can feel the Power!! UH Kickass!!! then the main riff comes in.. i sing PURPLE HAZE ALL IN MY BRAIN!! yeah!!! After singing all the verses comes the fun part.. the wacky weird solo..its weird bcoz he plays it at E dorian and whenever i play it the tune gets really freaky..cuz u can feel the sound rattle though ur spine and rumble ur veins... its like a Mini-masturbation kinda feeling..hehehe.. it feels really gd!!! hehe...
haha.. have so much 2 right about... i wont tok abt exams now....2 me exams are over bcoz the papers i'll be sitting 4 2moro are completely irrelevant and not improtant to my life...SO im free!!
Now 4 the N-Levels... bring it on BIATCH!!!!!!

2005-08-05T16:36:00.000+08:00

The Cure!! Nah its just me...

Its been quite a while since i updated... Haiz.. everyday..i keep thinking about what to rite... So its just a great day.. nothing much happened but i am really in a good mood.. Just sitting down here and listening 2 the cure is gd is just so relaxing.....soothing to the ears..especially when ur tired.. its a nice wake-up-to song.. singing their mellow tunes in the bathroom, or hopping or bouncing around to their more fun and wacky beats or sit down and stare into the dark abyss of ur mind while listening to their dark, gothic scores! So what ya waiting 4.. its a gd buy.. I luv music.. anything 4 me.. but rite now i fancy The Cure.... whats next? Metal?? nah.. i had too much of Led Zepplin, Black Sabbath, Zack Wylde time to relax with The Cure... Some of their songs are kinda motivational...its fun to sing along with or jam the guitar with....

Skool has been Ok.. 2dae was my prelim exams... English papers were a breeze... next week National Day concert in skool... BORING!! i saw the same concert over and over again 4 3yrs expect me to see it the 4 the 4th time?? NO WAY!!

2005-07-27T19:01:00.000+08:00

deep in thought...damn i miss my long hair..

A summary of this week and last week plus today's events= agonisingly boring and stupid except on Sunday where i met my Old primary skool frens at the skool of rock competition at Bishan man was i surprised!! Its been 4yrs and they still looked the same until now except now they have grown taller and up picked habit of smoking Gudang Garam very frequently hehe........

I havent been posting lately.. but i will do more frequently after my Exams,N-levels and so on...

Skool has been alright except 4 some pointless conflicts with my Maths teacher, Mr Yu.. that asshole thinks so highly of himself he 4gets tat he has'nt taught the class a single understandable thing about translation...he ended up bragging about how successful in life he was..F**K YU!! no time 4 ur life story nonsense!! i want a lesson... Oh yes i have been listening in class taking down notes... but that idioth thinks i am very clever to go on my own and learn on my own so he does'nt care about me whether i pass or fail...But still i need a teacher to teach me although i am gd in Maths u noe cuz maybe i have 4gotten how to do this concept etc..haiz Wateva it is.... he is such a FAG! Rather go to the skool library to study than to listen to his Philosophical crap... ok enuf abt the teacher.. later maybe who knows..he may stumble on this blog while surfing the net 4 gay porn perhaps.... so better not take any risks and just leave it just the way it is..

hmm... anymore?? perhaps not.. maybe 2moro.. im done 4 2dae.. its been hell...

2005-07-18T23:30:00.000+08:00

the lips!!

Tats me and my pals!! doin some crazy shit at a party during the holidays.. i just wanna relive the memories i had last month!! they were awesome.. from left, Sophian, me , hazwan, EZ and Zart! the coolest guy i every met!! oryt i'll back to post more... but for now chaos!

2005-07-07T19:57:00.000+08:00

Me in my Bodysuit!haha..hazwan thinking "WAD the HELL!!"

On your Marks!!!

Well as u can see from the photos... i really have nothing better to do except to make a fool of myself... anyway..2moro i'm gonna run 100metres for the Track and Field Heats...Its a qualifying round so i better get top 3 to reach the semi-finals... wish me luck!! Maybe i'll be wearing tat suit 2moro...maybe not... but i cant wait...and i get to skip class!! WOHOO!! I'll be in school 4 the flag raising after tat at 8.30am , CCK stadium here i come!! After my 100metres event, i will also compete in the Long Jump competition....my favourite event...Hopefully i do win a medal 4 this event... cant wait 4 the excitement bestowed upon me 2moro... the adrenaline, intensity, Nerves, The Muscle... all combining as one to kick some ass!!

2005-06-28T21:24:00.000+08:00

played lotsa pool during the holidays 2!! and a lotta movies!!!

aaah.. all set 4 school.. bought 2 new sets of shoes.. a few bags.. and i still have lots a money to spare..muahaha... this holidays have been an enjoyable.. and money in my wallet never finished so i was in a shopping spree everyday...hehe.. well 1st day of school was great.. i missed all my good frens.. it was great!! and 2day was great too.. i slacked all the way in class...as there were no lessons going on because either the teacher is on leave or does'nt give a damn bout us....i dunno.. almost the whole class was sleeping and snoozing.... yeah..

2005-06-18T08:46:00.000+08:00

hanging in the balance.....upside down world...

i met some new friends.. and wow.. listening to his stories... and all.. i found a complete clone of myself..only thing he is 6 yrs older than me.. but he has gone through the same shit i have gone through.. i mean really a carbon copy of the shit i go through now in secondary school...only thing is he got through this shit during his poly days... and its like i am an upgrade version of him.. but i do not wanna walk the path he went.. its just too painful....i dun wanna make the same mistake like he did... so after the june holidays.. u guys will see a completely changed me....i took the advice he gave me and i would take it seriously... damn man he has gone through a lot.. i respect him a lot ... so so Jamal thx 4 everything dude....

2005-06-14T15:21:00.000+08:00

sooo tired.....cramps...aches..pains...and then some..

Havent posted in a while...cuz i had nothing to post...anyway..just to update.. i just came back from my track and field training...the training made me go over the limit so i ended up vomiting here and there like a merlion would...hehe... at least my timings were consistent...at the end of the training i got cramps here and there and damn i cant even walk properly.. i had to crawl all the way to my computer chair just to sit here and type...i cant wait 4 thursday.. Finally Mr Ong is going to do a time trial for 100 metres ...sumthing i'm good at!! muhahahaha.. cannot wait to fly!! But after the time trials the rest of the training would suck.. cuz we may be doing some more hardcore shit...so yeah.. there.. i updated u happy now?? i'm gonna sleep and dream of the girl of my dreams!! just in case i dont wake up till 2moro, i wish u a very gd morning, gd afternoon, gd evening and gd night!!...

2005-06-09T12:11:00.000+08:00

Staring into blank space...........bored!

yeah damn bored here... all i do nowadays is sit my ass on this chair and surf the net....cant go out cuz i got no money!! :(....anyway... trying to entertain myself by disturbing the ppl under my block... those unlucky would get themselves all wet ...muhahahha.... basically i would just get a bucket full of water and pour it downstairs!! those ppl who happen to pass by get showered!! wohoo!! haha.. anyway... sum1 already called the police but there was no witnesses to show which house was responsible.. so wohoo!!! hahaha... anyway... i dun dare do it anymore... maybe i would just throw paper aeroplanes instead!! wahaha... see how bored i am??

2005-06-06T09:55:00.000+08:00

i'm back again...damn.... this past few days i was down wif flu, fever, body aches, head aches, chest pains.... it seems my body had a system overload... haiz.. i think its becoz i always go out and go home late everyday... and maybe my body just gave me a msg tat it had enough...well....F**K it!! i'm still gonna go out!!!!!

2005-06-03T17:21:00.000+08:00

aah... relaxed by the pool....

today sucked.... sucked so bad!! i planned to go out with my frens but they could not go...haiz... so wad to do but go 4 a swim...aaah... guess which swimming pool did i go to??muhaha hard 2 guess.... anyway cant wait for my bro jon to come back home 2moro from tekong.....Than we can have a great time!! well tats 2moro.. but 2day just gonna do sum lapping around the pool...chao! ........

2005-06-01T17:40:00.000+08:00

The surging run before i scored!!

Yeah was really bored at home.. so i went out to play soccer!! wohoo!! i called all my friends living nearby my area and organized a soccer match with another "MAT" soccer team..waha!! and we won 9-3!! wohoo!! i scored 4 goals!! yeah!! anyway havent had a nice match in months....so now my body is aching here and there...gonna slp now...tat pic up there my bro took it ...tats me running wif the ball just before i scored my 3rd goal.. nice one bro!!

2005-05-29T18:18:00.000+08:00

whenever i'm in town.. i will always find a place to slp..waha!

Nothing very interesting this past days but i just came back from town..bought so much stuff!! got lotsa money...wohoo!! and also had to buy many studd 4 my D&T..haiz.. so many.. spent so much 4 those useless materials..haiz.. anyway...was on a spree.. i shopped till i got tired of shoppping...so i snoozed whenever i had the chance to..yeah.. well.. tats all 4 2dae.. nothing much really...

2005-05-27T22:44:00.000+08:00

The party has already started..
its so brigtht that we can see it from afar!!wohoo!

WAHA!!!! I'm back again!! i post late cuz i come home late everyday!!! Well last day of skool so...yeah i got my report book!!! it was better than i expected!! I PASSED MALAY!!! WOHOO!!!
I passed english and my maths too as usual...waha!! but i was so happy i practically jumped 4 joy when i realised tat my malay marks was a pass!! WOHOO!!! but the rest of the subjects... FAIL!! aww so sad.. lol.. not gonna show my report book to my parents not yet... only the day before skool reopens then i will show it to them!! muhaha!! if i show it now, i would be grounded and i cannot go out to enjoy this damn long holiday!!! muhahaha!! I got new shoes too!! i'm just so happy!! wohoo!!! PARTY PARTY!!!!!

2005-05-25T19:11:00.000+08:00

Well it was a good but boring and fun day....yesterday i was picked by Mrs Wong to be interviewed about the benefits of a student-led PTC...a camera crew was there to video everything!! i was so freakin nervous... as it was gonna be shown to many schools all over the country....... tats wad my principal said so i'm not sure.... well at least the questions the interviewer gave me were easy ones to answer...muhaha.. he tried to grill me with hard ones but i shot back.. hehe...
After that.. the rest of the day was alright....yeah.. so tats all 4 2day..muhaha i usually write a whole bunch..but not 2day...

2005-05-23T10:37:00.000+08:00

The night is still a Virgin!!

aaah...... finally got back home.... was out the whole day yesterday only came back home now waha!! was having fun wif my bro jon and my best buddies... B4 we had great fun, we watched Star Wars Episode III.. and damn it was a gd movie.... I mean Yoda Kicked ass!!!! Obi-Wan Kenobi was impressive too... Anakin Skywalker was a jackass.... total asshole... damn Mace Windu could have killed the Sith Lord, Darth Sidius, but Anakin interfered and chopped off Windu's hand "OUCH!!".. and the Sith Lord took advantage and gave Windu a fatal electric shock waha!!! I did'nt like the way Windu died...he should have died with honour or wad... bsides tat..it was all gd.. damn Yoda is such a star in this movie, hacking off stormtroopers heads here and there, deflecting laser beams here and there and he also Kicked the Sith Lord's ass a lil... But Yoda failed to kill him...but it showed that Yoda was more powerful than that cowardly Sith Lord...OOPS!! I SAID TOO MUCH!!! oh well... this movie is a must watch so go get your ass of that chair and watch before the cinemas are fully booked :P!!!!

After the Movie.. we hanged out a lil and got high wohoo!!!!..after that we spent the night at my fren's place.....had maggi mee and played the PS2 all the way to 5am... than i looked behind me and also wondering why is it suddenly so silent.....and LO Behold all of my frens including my bro were lying down all sleeping and snoring.. I was like wad the hell?? I was the last man standing muhahaha!! OKOK i write too much.. but hey its wad i do!!

2005-05-20T21:53:00.000+08:00

Unbearable Pain....

SAD is the word i can describe 2day... i'm sad 4 the shit i've caused 4 the past 16 years of my life...It just can't go on any longer... now i sit here on this chair crying i tell u tears are really dropping onto the keyboard while i am typing this....I realised something 2day its so depressing it makes my heart go boom....wad am i now? This world is Full Of F**k... My world is turning into sumthing dark i dunno why..i just wish it could stop and i could just fall down.....

This are my thoughts now.. which can be sung as a song..it cheers me up..hopefully....
My last night here for you, same old songs, just once more
My last night here with you? Maybe yes, maybe no I kind of liked it your way
How you shyly placed your eyes on me, did you ever know? That I had mine on you
Darling, so there you are with that look on your face, as if you're never hurt, as if you're never down, shall I be the one for you, who pinches you softly but sure
If frown is shown then,I will know that you are no dreamer

So let me come to you, close as I wanted to be,close enough for me To feel your heart beating fast, and stay there as I whisper How I loved your peaceful eyes on me,did you ever know that I had mine on you
Darling, so share with me your love if you have enough, your tears if you're holding back Or pain if that's what it is, how can I let you know I'm more than the dress and the voice Just reach me out then, you will know that you're not dreaming
shall I be the one for you, who pinches you softly but sure
If frown is shown then I will know that you are no dreamer

2005-05-19T20:05:00.000+08:00

Why is everyday 4 me so shitty!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I feel like jumping off the window now... seriously this year is not my year.... too much shit...this feelings which i am unprepared 4...damn..its all just hard to handle!!!!! I punched my wall till it my hand bleeds but still that can't solve my problems...who knows a few weeks from now u may find me dead sumwhere.....

Ok anyway... 4 my exam results... I passed my maths as usual...failed my chemistry and physics...as usual...passed english as usual...and passed history..not the usual!!! lol!! I was so surprised to find out that i passed my history!! the papers i will get 2moro is my D&T and Malay..which i would obviously fail very badly!!
Yeah thats the update 4 now... gotta slp....excuse me while i kiss the sky...

2005-05-17T22:49:00.000+08:00

2day was a sad yet crazy day 4 me...ended watching kingdom of heaven wif my buddy zul yesterday..the movie finished about 12am.. and i was at town... well i went to his house at tiong bahru,,, and played PS2 there all the way to the next day!! finally reached home at 3pm today... and i slept off...well thats all 4 2days update... 2moro is skool and i'm gonna get back my results and all.. i hope i fail in those i expect to fail and pass those i expect to pass... so God help me! oh ya.. why is it sad?? its just sumthing bothering me again....

2005-05-16T09:30:00.000+08:00

Just came back from town... yeah ... so tired havent slept since 5pm yesterday....Was busy partying all night yesterday....Anyway i gotta go out at 3pm again cuz i'm gonna watch a movie wif my buddies....I also gotta create a nice layout 4 my adek's blog....she will luv it!! But before i do this... i'm gonna slp cuz i'm not gonna go out till 3pm!! Gd nites and gd morning lol... set my alarm clock...

2005-05-14T02:25:00.000+08:00

Just came back from town... was there to watch my bros drama consert production... wow my bro Justin acted very well...everything was very gd and the story was nice!! But before we went to watch it.. we goofed around with our camera and got loads of pics!!! Check'em out.. their oredi edited...

this is our shadows..I'm at the Far right!!

Me relaxing outside the gates of the Highcourt

The bros in the spotlight.. shit Joel is gonna be taller than me soon
From left..Joel and me

The Guys....An album cover if we make it big someday...
from left, Hazwan, Ezmir and Me

Tired..Lets Sleep...

Awake again..cuz he disturbed me from my sleep..haiz..

Sum1 just took my pic without me knowing...

Well if ya guys wanna see more... Go to my friendster account and check out my photo album which i just created..everything is there and u can view it in a bigger format.... go check it out!!!

2005-05-12T21:08:00.000+08:00

Heart-struck! It Hurts!!!

Torture... thats wad i can describe today...argh!!! Had my chemistry and D&T paper... did not how 2 answer any of the questions... did it any which way.... And My parents will not be home for 2 weeks!!!!!!!! WOHOO!!! Their on a trip to Philippines to visit my relatives and to screw corruption in da ass!! lol... yeah 2dae should be a time 2 celebrate and have a PARTY!! BUT sumthin happened which made me very afraid and sad...damn!! It just strikes my heart whenever i think about it..after that sumthin happened..I have been alone in my room since...wondering....i did not even lift a finger to study..2moro is my physics exam....who cares when i'm in this condition....wad is this feeling?? Love or Jelousy, Selfishness or Friendship, meekness or greed.....i think i wil celebrate another time then...

2005-05-11T16:30:00.000+08:00

Today sucked!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! .... 1st of all... My maths paper II was so difficult... and Mr Yu said it would be easy.. my ass!! My history paper was ok.. could do everythin unlike my social studies paper...
secondly... my lil bro Joel... after the exams he should have gone home but that idioth went to hang around...at least give me the keys to the house but he did'nt.. F**CK!!!!!!! Stranded outside my own house for 4hrs!!! Did nothing but sleep...walk around my my block.. stare at the blank white walls....look left, look right... then i was really bored so i just called my fren on the phone and had a nice chat... of course a nice chat always has to end...so it ended but i still had one hour to go before my mom came home..wad should i do?? oh ya my mom came home instead of my lil bro who should apologise to me... until now he still is'nt home yet... just imagine if my mom had'nt come at all...well next time i better duplicate my own set of keys... maybe i'll do that 2moro....Joel is sure gonna get it!!

2005-05-10T15:47:00.000+08:00

Great... the 1st time in my life i came home early from skool....i want to study tats all... u may be surprised!! cuz i really dont study at all... but its Maths paper II 2moro!! so i gotta get myself 2gether and study!! 2day was my math paper I ... it was a breeze!! freakin easy!! After that was my social studies exam... shit... yeah shit shit shit... could not answer any question... the source based questions gave me a headache...so i snoozed a lil....i finished section A after 45 mins... section B had 3 questions but i only had to answer one... and that one question is worth 25 marks!
Damn!! Well i chose the question and started doin it... i was on a rampage...writing anythin i could think of whether the points were related to the question or not.....as long as i wrote a 2page essay-like answer was all i needed and i finished the paper under the 1 and a half hours time limt.... after that i slept for 30 mins.... and when i woke up with such great timing!! the teacher was already collecting our scripts... wohoo!! after that i grabbed my shit and headed straight home!! where i hope to have a nice chat on the phone wif sum1 ;) aaah...