Dog and Cables Conspired :
Monday, September 25, 2006
FUCK!!!! today was FUCK!!!!
Now i look at the mirror. I see a Failure. Useless being. I fail everyone including myself. I hurt someone i love the most. I cant even face her or give her a call. Its too much, Im such a failure, a prick and an asshole. I was at home alone all the way, I cried the whole day, with no one, except me and the mirror. There was no one there to talk to about my problems and walls were shoulders to lean on and shed my tears. My bed was my platform and my blanket embraced me. I punched the wall out of anger, angry with my useless sick unhealthy self, punched till they were swollen and blue. I took a needle and burst a swollen bubble and blood gushed out. too numb to feel pain, I told myself I deserved much more punishment, "what were u thinking stupid asshole!" i shouted at myself.
"My mistakes" that was in my mind the whole day. My sad lonely heart took over, i've lost the sense of laughter, i cant laugh or smile anymore, Even jokes or crappy stuff cant interest me as i just sit and stare at those psychedelic walls. I watched some shows on the computer the whole day for 9 hours straight, to keep my mind stable. But now its just unbearable. I cant take it. This heartache is just uncontrollable. I havent had a drink or eaten anything yet. I have lost sense of myself. My empty stomach groans in agony, i get into temporal dizzyness now and then but i dont care. Useless people dont deserve to live.
Im useless. I'm sorry for being useless. now all i have is tuna sandwhiches and chocolate sandwhiches which should have been given to her. I'm a fuckbag.... Im fucking off from this place......... too depressing.... too much... I'm just human after all. Abnormal perhaps. I've lost my emotions.
Now i dread looking at the mirror. Let the walls and my room conceal me from my shame.
Im not sleeping tonight.
The Work of Dog
11:14 PM
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
YES! finally! the last paper for my Prelims is over. I'm free for the moment. B4 the real deal comes on November. Just Burning time. Wondering and just waiting for my results. I think i screwed up 2 subs and the rest should be fine. I hope.
I hope i can continue the way i live my life now. Its just nice for me. I'm trying to adjust and get back with my family and when that is done, life would be perfect. I hope all goes well.
Music is the best medicine for me right now, since i really have nothing better to do, soothing love songs like More Than Words do very well in relaxing the mind and body. Whenever i listen to that song my body just switches off and just slacks off. Its a nice song to down a nice shot of Vodka. The warm sensation caressing my throat while the music plays on and soothes my ears. yeaaaahh..laidback totally.
Just been surfing the net and i would really like to be in Russia right now, theres a Festival of some sort, and its drinks galore!
I'm just gonna cliff hang over here then
WOOF!
The Work of Dog
2:19 PM
Monday, September 18, 2006
Boredom. A feeling when i start to lose interest in everything. Its like a disease which really infects everyone. I hate it. To start things off, I am feeling bored. It sucks. I cant even get myself to write something in this blog. I'm just writing out of sheer boredom.
Study my mind says, but one needs to have fun and pleasure b4 doing something important, one needs a fresh mind to study. But what can i do? I slept a few hours and after that everything is just the same --> plain old boring.
But at least i'll wait till she comes back, just too damn bored. I'm freezing with boredom and theres nothing much i can do about it. I look through the window i could see trees and i wonder how things aren't always the way i want them to be.
Just waiting and stoning till i get what i want then. time passes....and THEN some
WOOF....
The Work of Dog
7:35 PM
Sunday, September 17, 2006
Suave and compromising.
Perhaps, yeah i do.
Funny and humorous.
I'm crazy if u put it in one word
Stubborn.
YES!
Very talkative.
Always has something to talk about
Calm and cool.
most of the time.
Kind and Sympathetic.
I have time to be those so yeah
Concerned and detailed.
VERY
Loyal.
Only to myself and my loved ones
Does work well with others.
Sometimes, prefers to be a loner
Very confident.
Only when i know its possible and i can do it
Sensitive.
for a guy, extremely sensitive
Positive Attitude.
Not really, i'm very laidback so u can call it neutral thinking if there ever was a term
Thinking generous.
Ask my buddies why they like to go shopping with me
Good memory.
When it comes to important things like girlfriend and exams.
Clever and knowledgeable.
I know stuff so yeah and then some
Loves to look for information.
haiz, could you just say i'm curious, cuz i really am.
Able to cheer everyone up and/ormake them laugh.
Ask the crowd
Able to motivate oneself and others.
I'm always good at motivational speeches but i don't noe if they work
Understanding.
Yes/No
Fun to be around.
Yeah
Outgoing.
Alright !!
Hyper.
peterpiperpickedanotherpickledberrypussypepperwhy? can you say it very fast and run around the house naked? well i can!
Bubbly personality.
I'm forever blowing bubbles
Secretive.
Bullshit everyone has secrets
Boy/girl crazy.
Girl crazy.
Loves sports, music, leisure and travelling.
yes, guitars, rum and Vodka
Systematic.
NO
hot and has brains.
I got brains. My temperature is always between 36.5-37 degrees so by climate standards thats hot.
If you repost this in 5 mins, a cutie that's caught your eyewill introduce themselves and you will realize thatyou are very much alike in the next 2 days
Yeah like im interested
The Work of Dog
2:58 PM
Saturday, September 16, 2006
I just woke up. Dazed and Confused. Well i should be, cuz of that sick weird dream i just had. Damn it was crazy. I was in a dream of someones dream inside a disgusting mutated green sticky gooey dick. It was just so weird, i was dreaming as someone else and here i was killing green flesh-eating alien humanoids. I freaked out, the aliens looked so damn real. I quickly woke up, i stood up and walked to the toilet, i just looked at the mirror, was thinking of my , but then a giant spider leg tore through the mirror and grabbed me, another weird dream and i woke up, slapped myself ran around the house and washed my face in the toilet, looked at the mirror and checked it, great i'm awake.
After which i went to write something here. I miss R. tats why i'm gonna meet her now!
WOOF!
The Work of Dog
11:14 AM
Friday, September 15, 2006
Fun. Fun. I seem to have fun everyday nowadays. 2dae was great! Rosa, myself and bro were all sent home from school. So we ended up going to the gym and went for a swim. We had the time of our life. It was fun. Jumping here and there, jogging in water, playing around at the kids swimming pool playground. Then, haiz, The rain spoiled our fun. So we went up and rested.
After that we just let time fly. Great! I taught Rosa how to play time of your life and after 1 month of practising the song, she has mastered it, which is great!
Anyway, tats all for now.
WOOF!
The Work of Dog
4:24 PM
Thursday, September 14, 2006
I've been tagged to do this survey. So okay since i've got nothing better to do, then lets just get one with it.
1) Single, taken, or crushing?
I'm owned.
2) Are you happy with your life now?
Relationship life YES, family life, not really. Skool life, just fine i guess.
3) When you meet the right person, do you fall in love with her fast?
I've gotta getta know her 1st, its a slow process so, etc..
4) Have you ever had your heartbroken?
fuck this question. dont ask the obvious. I've been heartbroken more than the whole world's broken hearts put together.
5) Do you believe there are some circumstances where cheating love is acceptable?
Cheating, is wrong, so its wrong it should nvr take place no matter the circumstances. Just like what Ms Tan said "cheating is a very serious offence, offenders wil be dealt with seriously"
6) Would you take someone back if she cheats on you?
It depends how serious, but even if i take her back she would nvr be as pure as before cuz b4 she cheated on me she was all mine but now a big chunk of her has been given to some asshole.
So maybe i wont take her back.. no way. Baby u noe i wont cheat on you.
7) Have you talked about marriage with another before?
Yeah.
8) Do you want children?
Who does'nt? of course!
9) How many?
2 girls and 2 boys :D!!
10) Would you consider adoption?
Yeah, but i would like to be adopted right now. XD
11) If someone likes you right now, what do you think is the best way to let you know her feelings?
Make it obvious for me and please tell me straightforward. Shy gals can go home and sulk. but so sorry i've got the gal i wanted, my strawberry ripple ice cream.
12) Do you enjoy getting into relationship?
Yeah, but sometimes there are big problems and I have to work hard to fix it all up and it helps me to be a better and different person altogether.
13) Be honest, what is the furthest you and your ex did?
My EX? ask the bitch in Australia.
14) Do you believe in love at first sight?
Hmm, in movies yes, but in reality its quite impossible unless its just fateful attraction which brings 2 people together miraculously.
15) Are you romantic?
Yeah, whenever a special occasions come. I'm romantic when its due. Whenever i feel so happy.
16) Do you believe you can change someone?
Yeah. i did. I was able to Mindfuck my friend who was so suicidal and wanted to kill himself but because of all the horrible and terrible things i said to him if he really did kill himself, he changed and ended up living a normal life and his problems were gone. Dude its good ur still alive.
17) If you could get married somewhere, where would it be?
Anywhere unique, some remote paradise island. With clear water beaches and soft floury sand. Beautiful sunsets.
18) Do you easily give in when you are fighting?
It depends who is on the wrong. But its always the guy who is on the wrong cuz guys are guys. So i give in. But if i noe i'm not wrong i make myself heard. A msg to those guys out there, don't let your gal take advantage of you. Yes you love her then you also have to fight her sometimes and after those fights you WILL love her even more! no kidding. you may just end up making out with her in the end.
19) Do you have feelings for someone right now?
DUH! then what is question one for anyway STUPID!
20) Have you ever wished that you could have had someone but you messed it up?
Yep.
21) Have you ever broke a heart?
No. not once. Never did. I'm always the broken hearted.
(22) If one day your best friend falls in love with the girl you are deeply in love with, what would you do?
To tell ya the truth. My best friend would nvr ever fall in love with the same person i'm in love with. Guys are not like that. Its a guy thing. The code of dudes.
23) Are you missing someone now?
Nope, shes looking at me right now, those cute adorable eyes of hers.
Now you have to ask 5 of your friends to do this survey in their blogs.Write down their names in the list below.Tag them in their blog to let them know.
So anyone interested? just copy and paste it. ctrl + C and ctrl + V. Cuz u cant right click on this blog.
WOOF!
The Work of Dog
9:58 PM
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
Exams. The exams 2dae were so full of Formulae and Equations, even after each paper and when i doze off, i still could see myself looking at equations and mathematical shit. SCARY.
Anyways, I really had fun 2dae. After the exams, hanged out with my budds, yeah doing the usual, they smoke their nicotine but i sit and talk.
After chilling out with them, i went for a swim at the swimming pool with Rosa at her Condominium. It was sweet. Rubbing suntan oil and bask in the Sun 2gether. We had intervals, at one time we would be doing laps at the pool but at another time suntanning again. After that, we got our stuff as it started to get really cold. But then we did'nt go home just yet. There was this toddlers swimming pool playground over there and we ended up playing over there. The water swings and slides! WOO! After that the rain spoiled everything. but all in all it was fun.
Rosa just came back from her haircut! OMG! She's so freakin cute! Short hair! Retro Chick!
Its nice and she looks adorable! Hmm. I guess thats all i think. Need more time to think of what to write about.
WOOF!
The Work of Dog
5:04 PM
Its 3am. Umm did i say i was done with my blog? Well actually its far from finished. It still had many bugs here and there, Minor glitches and crappy fonts and then some, but i finally cleared'em up. I'm almost finished!!. A few more touches here and there. I have freaking exams 2moro. Important ones and here I am still up late at night doing something irrelevant to studies.
I did study before i continued fixing stuff here and there. I had a 1 hour revision on everything coming out for 2moro. I'm mostly prepared. I hope i don't get sleepy when i see a difficult question, moreover, i havent slept yet which means i have a higher chance of sleeping. SHIT.
I'm off to bed then. Im out for now
Woof!
The Work of Dog
2:55 AM
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
Alright. My new blog is up and running. Damn i found this picture of a Guitar in the net and just came up with a new blog idea and poof its all done. Was up all night figuring out bugfixes here and there. Most of the bugs are fixed cuz i some how designed this blog from scratch and its really confusing sometimes to figure those codes out. So im now tired. But i'm off to Rosa's house... Laters...
WOOF!~
The Work of Dog
3:06 PM
